My Little Shinning Star
by Neko Oni
Summary: yugi is crippled and in a wheelchair, and odds are he'll never walk again. yami's heart's torn as he sees his little angel suffer, hoping for a miracle. ryou has leukimia and is dying, and bakura's learning the meaning of life. Merik and Malik cut them
1. crippled

yes, I'm starting ANTOTHER fic...i know, I should be doing chappie one of interactive fic, but I don't have the energy..i'll do that tomorrow. This is just a lil' something I'm throwing out, inspired by my mom's medical text books and an interesting conversation I've had with someone. Lemme know what y'all think! Can be shouen-ai or not. Depends upon what you like. I know what it's gonna be for me ^_~  
  
MY LITTLE SHINING STAR  
  
The hospital room was dark and quiet, the shut door blocking the lights and noises of the occupied hallways. Yami sat with Yugi's little form cradled in his arms, rocking back and forth, using his foot to propel the rocking chair. He held Yugi with in one hand and used the other to brush his golden bangs back. The small boy remained still, as he had been for hours. Yami wasn't worried; Yugi needed to be well rested for tomorrow. He would need his strength once he was discharged from the hospital. Yami tucked the blanket tighter around Yugi and shifted so his small, injured hikari was resting higher up on his chest. He bowed his head, burying his face in the little one's soft, tri-colored hair.  
  
Tears full of hot guilt trailed down his cheeks, dripping onto the sleeping Yugi. How could he have let this happen? He had sworn to protect Yugi, yet this had happened, and now his precious hikari would never be the same again. He knew, deep down, that it wasn't his, nor anyone else's, fault. There was nothing he could have done to prevent it from happening. It had been an accident. A common, everyday accident. He unconsciously clutched Yugi tighter as he remembered Yugi's smiling face appearing at the top of the stairs as he rushed down for breakfast. The smile being quickly replaced by a look of surprise and horror as, in his haste, his foot tripped and sent him tumbling down the stairs. Each rounded wooden edge of practically each step had smashed into little Yugi's back; not breaking the spine, but bruising it severely.  
  
A silent sob stuck in his throat. Yami swallowed it with difficulty, blinking futilely at his tears and dragging himself out of those memories. Yugi's soft, little hand clutched at his black sweatshirt, and Yami took his hand in his larger one, bringing it to his lips and kissing it gently. "I promise, Yugi, everything will be all right. I promise. I'll always be here."  
  
The silence and solitude of the room was interrupted by the low sound of the door clicking open and shutting with a dull thud. Yami instinctively held Yugi closer to him, his body freezing. A hand was placed on his shoulder, causing him to jump. He looked over his shoulder, and saw none other than Bakura, who was supporting Ryou with one arm. The silver haired hikari leaned heavily on the ancient spirit, and also clutched the metal rod of his IV stand. He smiled softly, comfortingly, at Yami.  
  
Yami met the soft brown, weary gaze, then the grimmer grey one. He quickly looked away, for Bakura's face mirrored his own. Normally serious, straight and strong, Bakura's face was shadowed by exhaustion and worry. His stature had lost all confidence and cockiness. He was a tomb robber humbled by the illness of his little hikari.  
  
Bakura squeezed Yami's shoulder briefly before letting go. "How is he?"  
  
"Aibou's doing better. He's getting discharged tomorrow. Finally, after 3 long months, he's getting to go home, where he belongs." Yami's voice rang with the strain of tiredness, yet had an underlying strength fed by hope. "The doctors don't know if he'll ever walk again. They only took the back brace off 2 weeks ago. The spinal tissue is bruised, but healing." Yami blinked his tears back and turned Yugi over in his arms, pulling aside the blanket and revealing Yugi's soft little back through the open, tie back hospital gown. The internal damage to the spine had healed; that's why the brace was removed, but the outer damage had yet to heal. Various spots on Yugi's back, right on his delicate spine, were massive, dark black, blue and purple bruises where the hard steps had bitten into vulnerable flesh and bone. They were nasty line bruises; their color had faded only a little, but the swelling had stopped and reduced to its normal size. It was only the skin that was still damaged.  
  
Ryou buried his face in Bakura's shoulder and whimpered slightly. Kissing the top of his hikari's head to soothe him, Bakura felt his own tears and gruffly pushed them back. "How far down is he paralyzed?"  
  
Unable to speak, Yami merely pointed to where the first of the nasty bruises were. The bruise was a couple of inches below Yugi's shoulder blades. Bakura felt his heart twist with sorrow for the pharaoh and his hikari. He still recalled the sight of the small one hooked up to all those machines, so still and lifeless. Much as his own aibou had been. He reflexively tightened his hold on him, resting his chin in his soft, fluffy hair. Yugi was paralyzed from the waist down.  
  
"It's amazing that he's even come this far."  
  
Yami nodded in the silence that followed. "What of your own hikari?"  
  
Bakura's small smile was bittersweet. "He's getting better. This disease will not beat him."  
  
"He's had it all his life."  
  
"I know. He's survived for 16 years now. This relapse won't faze him. Will it, Ryou?" Ryou leaned heavier on his yami and shook his head. 


	2. dying

Bakura sat completely still, holding the very thin hand of his very frail, sleeping hikari in both of his hands and pressing the nearly transparent, chill fingers against his forhead as he leaned with his elbows on the bed and the bed's guardrail down; he was there in case Ryou rolled over, which was highly unlikely because of the energy required. "You're going to be fine. You're going to make it. You're going to be fine." The spirit whispered the words he'd told Yami, told Ryou, told himself countless times; so many times, even he nearly beleived them. Tears slipped past his closed eyes and dropped onto the scratchy, thin woolen blanket.  
  
Ryou couldn't be relapsing now. Not now, when he had just healed all the bleeding wounds inside him. All of his harbored hatered, mistrust, and anger were still with him; those scars would forever marr him, but he had learned to cope. That friendship and love thing, there really was something to it. Anger and hate were very easy emotions to embrace; they were stronger and gained sway easier. But love is a really funny thing. It binds a person, wrapping around their heart. Anger and hatred may cover it, even severe it, but a deep love was always there, and it healed. It never healed completely, but it gave one the strength to cope, the strength to endure. He had always called his hikari weak, but this love and hope thing had given him the power to endure. It was he, Bakura, who was the weak one for giving in so easily to the baser emotions. And Bakura was just beginning to learn about these new feelings. They didn't make him go crazy as the familiar ones did, and they weren't as safe; with these new ones, one could be hurt so easily. Yet these new ones didn't hurt or burn as the old ones did; they settled one down, made one feel...........different. Maybe that was why he no longer despised the pharaoh, his brat, or his own hikari. His temper and defiance were still there, though, much as Yami still had his arrogance and firm self assurance; the scars never wore away. The wounds healed and became scars, but the marks were always there.  
  
And now, all these new, untried feelings were being put to the test. Ryou lay in a sedated sleep; after he'd snuck his hikari, who wasn't supposed to be out of his bed, back in, a grumpy new nurse had come in and changed one of the IV bags, administering the ill mortal's medication. Bakura did not like this medicine at all. Ryou was only given it once a week, and it made his thin, nearly transparent skin turn an awful, sickly yellowish color, drained him of what little energy he had, thinned his hair, and seemed to make him only feel sicker. This medicine seemed to be doing more harm than good. His precious hikari, his little light, was slowly slipping away from him, and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it, despite all of his powers.  
  
The tears burned shameful tracks down his cheeks. If his old friends, Malik and Marik, could see him now, they'd laugh their asses off. The great, independent tomb robber reduced to tears because of one weak, sick boy. Bakura laid Ryou's limp hand by his side, then buried his face in his folded arms and cried into the flat mattress. Damn them, he didn't care. He didn't give a flying fuck what anyone thought; he'd shed a million tears if it would heal Ryou. Anything to heal his hikari.  
  
  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
A/N: sorry this was so short! i'll try to write more soon, but i figured it's been forever since i wrote anything, and this seems to be my best fic so far, this was what i've had stored on my disk for a while, so i figured i'd just throw it up for those of you who've been waiting!  
  
yami: *snorts * yeah right, like anyone's ever gonna read any of ur stories, stupid baka!  
  
hey! i'll have you know chappie one got 10 wonderful reviews!  
  
yami: yeah, and i bet you this chapter get.........0, or a bunch of flames!  
  
shut up, pharaoh! someone out there may actually like this! *has fingers crossed * 


	3. home

wheeee! *spins around rapidly on her chair until she gets dizzy and goes cross eyed *  
  
yam: .................  
  
yug: *giggles, showing off his braces with light blue ties * I just want to say that i really believe that miracles can happen. *smiles * i have proof! Oni updated!  
  
yam: *snorts * after nearly a year!  
  
. um....meep?  
  
yam: .....that's the best excuse you could come up with?  
  
um......i'm lazy....and i lost my motivation? *ducks huge pile of rotten fruit and veggies thrown at her * ya know, they could at least throw pumpkin pie.....mmmmm.....pumpkin pie......*drools *  
  
yam and yug: -.-  
  
eh....where was i? *wipes her chin after thinking of the pie * um....ah...oh, yeah! some of you readers had a few concerns, and i wanna address those. even though, now, i'm notorious for writing yaoi- i've written a few lemons/limes already- this is not a yaoi fic. cuz at the time when i had started this, i didn't write ygo yaoi, but now that's all i ever write...and...err....well, actually, this *is * shounen-ai, but then again it's not. i don't want to focus on romance in this fic, therefore none exists. however, i do want to focus on the really strong, deep bonds between the yamis and hikaris. so, that would be like shounen-ai, but then again it's not.......meep.....i'll just say it's ½ and ½ and keep the masses happy!  
  
so....err.....onto the fic! @.@  
  
&&&&&&&&  
  
"Yami, I want it off. It's tight; I can't breathe, I can't move." Yugi plucked uselessly at the hard, unbending plastic back brace. He lay on his back in his bed, in his room, in his home. Things had stayed pretty much the same over his long stay in the hospital, but there were a few changes, of necessity. A ramp leading up to the porch had been built for his wheelchair, and furniture had been rearranged to accommodate it as well. There was a special bathing chair for him to sit in in the bathtub, a Port- O-Potty in one corner of his room, and his bed, which was pushed up against the wall, had a bed guard to prevent him from falling out of bed.  
  
"Hush, Shhh. You need it, aibou, just for a few weeks, until everyone gets adjusted to the new routine. Things at home aren't like they were in the hospital; you're back might accidentally get jarred or injured again." Yami sat at the head of Yugi's bed, gently running a lean hand through his little angel's hair.  
  
Yugi pouted. "I know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."  
  
Yami nodded. "Neither do I, aibou. I don't like it.....any of it...." His words were hoarse, and he bit his lip, but a stray tear trickled down his cheek, plopping onto Yugi's soft, white one.  
  
"Yami....shh....I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry...." Yugi reached up with one small hand and cupped his yami's cheek, wiping away the tears which were falling faster and faster.  
  
Yami shook his head, wiping his eyes on the itchy sleeves of his woolen sweater. "No, no my little tenchi, you didn't. It's just....it's just...." He trailed off hopelessly, shaking his head again. Yugi was home; he should be happy, but instead it just felt like this nightmare was more real. This wasn't just some bad dream he could wake up from, have a cup of hot cocoa, and shake off. This was real. Precious aibou really was crippled. His beloved little Yugi could only move his head and his arms; he had no control over the rest of his body.  
  
Yami cried out at that thought, flinching away, breathing heavily and fighting off more tears. Worry darkened Yugi's violet eyes. "Yami?" He reached out hesitantly to touch him.  
  
The taller boy whimpered, but he didn't pull away. "Oh, gods, aibou, I'm so sorry. I'm so beyond sorry, my little one." Yugi tugged lightly on his sleeve, and Yami fell, face buried against Yugi's bare, fragile little shoulder as the pain and hopelessness he'd fought off so long came flooding out.  
  
Yugi let Yami cry on him, sensing how much pain was in his darkness's heart. Pain, worry, and frustration. When Yami's sobs subsided a little, his hot tears running dry, Yugi stroked his hair as Yami had often done his. "Sh, my dear yami, it will be alright." He whispered softly in his ear, then kissed the top of his forehead. Although, if truth be told, even the little one didn't believe in his own words. tbc.....  
  
&&&&&&&&&&  
  
and here we are, at the end of another update-  
  
yam: *snorts * what do you mean, _another _ update?  
  
-.- why can't you ever leave me alone?  
  
yam: *glares * after you tried to see if a magnet would stick to my braces? i think not!  
  
yug: -.- yup, we're just one big, bloody happy family! *grabs a foam bat and starts hitting yam and oni repeatedly *  
  
random kitty cat on the window sill: mew? (translation; review and yug will give you a kiss!) 


	4. the caged bird's song

yay! another update! go me! i've been an updating fiend lately! ^O^  
  
yam; *sarcastically * oh, whopee. i'd leap for joy, but bad back, you know  
  
*glares * *punches yam _hard _ in his back *  
  
yam: . that hurt *falls down, rubbing his back *  
  
*snickers while yug rushes over, comforting yam *  
  
eh...anywayz, thankies for the reviews, the 7 of you that did ^.^  
  
isis: hopefully things will start to get better for them? *chuckles darkly * heh heh...now, where would the fun be in that? this was supposed to be a short story, but....i have no clue how t'will turn out....i just kinda write it as i go.... @.@  
  
child of the stars: ooh, nice name! ^.^ yah, chappies are too short, but 'tis the best i can do...i'll *try * to make 'em longer, but i can't promise anything!  
  
acme-rian: O.o? i'm glad you like it, and i'm sorry, but no, i do not add characters into my stories.   
  
bazzies: ^.^ glad ya like the story! ^.^ and...meep...i * will* read ur stories, me promise, now that i'll have free time on me hands   
  
yami-yugi3, curtis zidane ziraa, graverobbers aman, tati 1, and hime no ichigo: i'm glad y'all like it, and thankies for reviewing! oh, and yami yugi, thankies for all the reviews for the other stories, too.  
  
oh, and everyone who has me on their favs. list, thankies a bunch! ya know i luv ya! and...enough BS....onto the story, if ya didn't skip this part already *snerks *  
  
ah, and one last thing....since this is a pg-13 story, and i've realized...bakura not swearing...just ISN'T bakura....i came up with a brilliant idea! bleep the swears out! that way, he swears, but it's censored, so the rating can stay low and no kiddies learn any new words! trust me, with his mouth, that baka could have this nc-17 in no time -.- But now with censorship! ^.^ God, isn't America great? *snerks *  
  
&&&&&&&&&  
  
Bakura growled and punched the vending machine, which promptly spit out the two items he'd selected, and felt generous-or fearful- enough to return his change as well. "Stupid piece of shit." He mumbled, grabbing the chips and change. He growled once more and threw another nasty, menacing look at the machine for good measure before stalking back off to his hikari's room.  
  
Visiting hours were, technically, over, but it wasn't as if any mortal would dare refuse him. Sure, for any raving, angry lunatic it was standard procedure to call security, but what could a doctor do against a millennia old, menacing and deadly spirit who got right up into their face and stared into their eyes? The trick was freaking the doctor out; Bakura had locked eyes with the old man, who had seen the yami's eyes flickering from gray to dark blue, dark purple to black, and had even flashed with lightening. Bakura had shown him a glimpse of the Shadow Realm, frightening the poor doctor who'd 'generously' given him 'special visitors privileges'. Bakura snickered then glowered at a nurse who happened to be in his way.  
  
The witch's mouth worked, preparing her sharp tongue. Before she could speak, Bakura sneered, narrowed his eyes and let them flash into hers briefly. She gasped and dropped whatever it was she'd been holding. He chuckled darkly and rounded the corner.  
  
/YAMI!/ Ryou's panicked distress cry stopped the tomb robber dead in his tracks. The chips fell to the floor as he bolted down the hallway to Ryou's room.  
  
//Aibou! I'm coming!//. Heart pounding, Bakura found Ryou crumpled on the floor, his chest heaving as he struggled for air, his face turning blue. His IV had been ripped from his arm as he fell, and blood welled from the wound.  
  
//RYOU!//. Bakura slammed his fist on the red button by Ryou's bed, which was the emergency call button, then fell to his knees besides his sick hikari, rolling him over onto his back. //Ryou! Answer me! What the hell happened?//.  
  
Ryou gasped for air, struggling to breathe, his body shaking slightly. /There-there was a b-bird on the branch..b-by the w-window....w-wanted to s-see it...../. His chocolate brown eyes, which were dark with fear and wide open, started to close as he was falling unconscious from lack of oxygen.   
  
"RYOU! RYOU!" Bakura cried out, desperate and ready to shake the boy back to life. Then he felt hands on his shoulders, pulling him away from his hikari. He didn't want to let go; he couldn't loose Ryou! But the hands held firm; more joined them, and he was thrown off his light.   
  
It took six paramedics to restrain Bakura while his hikari was lain back in his bed, and an oxygen mask was fitted over his face. Ryou gasped, his eyes shooting wide open, as oxygen was suddenly drawn into his body, and the ghastly blue color on his abnormally pale face slowly receded, leaving him with a deathly white pallor, as if he was a ghost. His IV was reattached and taped firmly to his other arm while a bandaid was placed over the first.   
  
Ryou breathed heavily, glad for the oxygen forcing itself into his body, making him breathe. Making him live. He was weak...so weak. His eyelids felt heavy, oh so heavy. As he watched his yami struggling, fighting men dressed all in white, it was like it was a dream, or a television show....something unreal.... Slowly his eyes fell downward, and he fell asleep.  
  
Once Ryou was settled, and Bakura, seeing his hikari was going to live, and ceased struggling, he was released. "Now, what exactly happened?" A prim orderly asked.  
  
Bakura growled and shrugged. "I went out of the room, and when I came back, I found him passed out on the floor."  
  
"I see." She snipped dubiously, clicking her pen and turning sharply on her heel, followed by the paramedics, the last one shutting the door behind them.  
  
Bakura glowered at the door, making sure they were gone for a good several minutes before falling weakly into a chair besides the ill mortal's bed. "Damn it, Ryou, don't ever do that again, or I'll...." He trailed off weakly, ignoring the burning in the corners of his eyes. He wished Ryou was well. He wished they were both out of this stinking, wretched hell hole. He wished the doctors were competent. He wished-  
  
If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. Bakura snorted; how many times had he heard that stupid saying? If wishes were gold, then he'd be an effing king. Then he'd personally strangle and tear limb from bloody limb those stupid fools who dared to call themselves healers. Healers! Phah! They couldn't even cure one sickly boy.....  
  
It wasn't their fault that Ryou was sick, but Bakura felt a bit better by laying blame at their door. It helped work off some of the anger and frustration he felt. It wasn't very fair of him, but the world wasn't fair. That was life.   
  
Bakura snorted in disgust then suddenly stood up, his fists clenched at his side. Swiftly, he strode to the door, pushing the medical staff out of his way. To clear his head, he needed some fresh air. Or, preferably, a good fight.  
  
tbc.......  
  
*holds out jar that says reviews * please support the stop-oni-from-abusing-her-clones organization. every review helps!  
  
merik; *smirks * just because she'll stop doesn't mean i will *pounds his fist into his palm *  
  
yam: *yelps, drops the jar and takes off running *  
  
yug: O.O ...meep? *holds out jar with big chibi eyes * 


	5. blame

Well, here's another update! Here's a huge thank you to my wonderful reviewers!  
  
Tati1; Ryou has leukemia, though I haven't come out and directly stated it yet, I've tried to hint at it. A couple of people have figured it out for themselves, tho, but I was stupid and forgot to put in what he has, oh well, I'll work it in laters! ^_^  
  
Darkenedblue: yeah, I realized I spelled shining wrong after I posted it, but I'm too lazy to go change the title. I'll get 'round to it one of these days! ^.^  
  
Puzzle-chan, Bazzie-Boo, GraveRobbersAman, Mimiheart, Yokai the tiger demond, and Prancing Ranger: thank you guys for reading and reviewing! ^___^ and Puzzle-chan, thanks for the chibi yami! *cuddles said chibi *  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
The bedroom was dim; the only light came from the dim, silvery moonbeams that leaked through the window and fell upon the two figures laying upon the bed. Yami caressed Yugi's sleeping face. His little angel looked so peaceful, so whole. Tears stung the back of his ruby eyes, which shone dark in the night with intense sorrow. A sob lodged in his throat, but Yami bit it back, and let out a little hiccup insteand.  
  
Yugi stirred at the slight noise, cuddling closer to Yami's chest. "Oh, Yugi. My poor, poor, sweet angel baby." Yami's voice was thick and clogged with tears, and the crystal liquid shimmered in his eyes, falling slowly down his cheeks. It was an eternal dagger rammed into his heart to see his beloved aibou like this. And all because he hadn't been watching out....if he'd been paying attention, he could have....could have...done something to stop Yugi from tripping and falling down the stairs. What he could have done, Yami didn't know, but he knew he should've done something. And thus he blamed himself for what happened.  
  
"My sweet darling, I'm so, so incredibly sorry." Yami whimpered and buried his face in Yugi's hair, holding the little, broken body close. He kissed his temple and ran long, trembling fingers through his soft hair. In sleep, he was so peaceful, serene and sweet, but when Yugi was awake, his large, sad violet eyes were wide open, drinking in everything. They were dark with sorrow and misery; Yugi's outside was a reflection of how Yami felt on the inside. Those haunting eyes were like two bruises in an abnormally pale, waxy face. Yugi was shattered beyond repair, and yet he still hadn't given up hope.  
  
Though, Yami still hadn't told anyone of the phone call he'd received today. The doctor had called, saying that the results of Yugi's last tests were in, and it was confirmed. Yugi would never walk again. He'd never have movement or control of his body ever again. He was crippled for the rest of his life. Yami drew in a deep, shuddering breath. It hurt just remembering it. The dagger in his heart twisted painfully, and he jerked, pressing Yugi further against him, as if he could hold him and protect him from the cold realities of life.  
  
Yami couldn't tell anyone; that would make it real, make it official. It would kill what little hope he had left. So, he kept the phone call to himself, as if by ignoring it, he could make it go away. Yami whimpered and felt the little one stir again. He softly kissed his forehead and whispered soothing words; little Yugi soon fell back asleep.  
  
Sighing heavily, Yami got up and left the bed, tucking the blankets around the fragile body to keep him warm. Yugi whimpered at the loss, but Yami gave him gentle, butterfly kisses and whispered, and the little one settled down again. "I'm sorry, my angel. I just...need some time alone." Yami whispered, then turned and left the room.  
  
He was near the door when he tripped on the wheel of Yugi's wheelchair, banging his head off the wall in the process. Yami swore, holding a hand to the already forming bruise on his head, and he looked worriedly at Yugi, afraid he'd awoken him, but the little one was still sleeping. Yami stumbled to his feet his ruby eyes drunk in the sight of his aibou. A sob caught in his throat, his resolve and strength suddenly shattering as another wave of hopelessness washed over him, and sent him running out of the quiet house into the sleeping street. Yami ran, barefoot into the night. He wore only his battered, faded black cotton pajama bottoms. Yugi liked the feel of his soft cheek pressed to Yami's bare, warm chest, so Yami never slept with a shirt on.  
  
Though the night was calm and beautiful, it was cold. Yami paid it no mind; he ran on headlong, trying to outrun the pain tearing at his heart and sanity. He tripped once, slicing his bare foot on a sharp piece of dirty, broken glass. The thin boy cried out in pain and surprise, catching himself on a fence before he fell to the ground. He looked down at the cut, but couldn't see anything through his tears.  
  
Gasping, he took off again, unmindful of the pain in his throbbing foot, or the bloody footprints he was leaving behind as the deep gash splattered blood as the foot was pounded on the sidewalk with each step he took.  
  
Yami cried out when, in his senseless rush, he bumped into something. He started to fall backwards when strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him against a firm, solid chest. "Yami?" He looked up at Bakura's astonished voice, and saw the normally smirking features hanging open in shock.  
  
Yami whimpered and buried his face in Bakura's neck, and the taller boy was shocked even more. Yami was such a mess; his hair was matted, and he looked like he hadn't slept for days. Which, with Yugi, he probably hadn't. Then Bakura's sharp, dark chocolate eyes noticed something they hadn't before. "You're bleeding." He said, bending, one arm leaving Yami's waist and coming behind his knees, easily lifting him up into his arms. "God, Yami, you're a real mess." He said, and his only response was a little sob and the shaking of Yami's thin shoulders.  
  
"Lets get you cleaned up." He whispered, hesitating, then placing a soothing kiss on the top of Yami's head. Seeing Yami in pain distracted him from his own. Though Bakura had dond a good job of numbing his own hurting heart with alcohol, and he'd managed to find a perfectly good, anger-releasing fight to boot. But it was mostly the alcohol that helped.  
  
"Yami..." he trailed off, not knowing what to say. Yami wasn't responding anyway; he was too busy crying his broken heart out on Bakura's broad shoulder. "C'mon, lets go back to my place." He said, worried at how cold and clammy Yami's bare skin was. He knew, from his state of dress, or rather lack there of, that Yami really wasn't in his right mind at the moment, and he needed to get the smaller boy inside right away, before he got sick, and his foot also needed tending.  
  
Tbc....  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
well, here we go, the end of another lovely angsty chapter! ^__^ I tried to make this one a little longer, but I ran out of time; I was a bad girl and skipped philosophy to update this.  
  
And, plz, pretty, plz, leave a review? *holds Yug up* *Yug bats his big chibi eyes*  
  
Yug: pwetty pweeze? *bats his eyes again* 


	6. fall to pieces

Okay, folks, here's the lattest chappie; things are coming to a very dramatic head. Well, at least this chapter's longer than the last one! beams

And, of course, a HUGE thank you to my lovely reviewers! I love you guys! Angel-knight-10, Gemma, stupoder, rf, Kitty Neko, Rya Starling, Bazzie-Boo, Mafedttk, Chicary, and Mimiheart.

For all you angst-bunnies out there, here's a bunch of it heading your way!

&&&&&&&&&

Yugi lay on his back, wide awake with his large amethyst eyes staring into the darkness. His small hands clutched at the blankets Yami had so lovingly tucked about him, covering up the hard plastic brace that encased his back and chest.  
  
He hadn't been able to sleep since Yami had left. He was worried about the bigger boy; he could sense something was vitally wrong with Yami. Ever since Yugi had come home from the hospital, his world had been falling to pieces around him. His friends treated him like a delicate porcelain doll, and talked in hushed whispers as if he was on his death bed. He missed being able to walk, to dance, to go to the bathroom.  
  
There was so much that Yugi had always taken for granted. Mindless, everyday little things, such as reaching up into a cupboard for a glass, pulling weeds in the garden, playing in the park, all those common things people take for granted everyday. What Yugi wouldn't give to return to 'normal' for just one day.  
  
The sadness ate at Yugi's heart, but he didn't give in to it. He had every right to lay in bed, feeling sorry for himself. He had the right to be angry and hate the world, wish his useless life away, feel worthless, less than half of what he once was, to hate everyone who was normal and whole, to lay in bed and let his crippled body rot and his soul become cold and bitter. But he wasn't that weak; he would never give up.  
  
Yet, the one who had taught him to always persevere was taking this far worse than Yugi. The little one barely even recognized his yami anymore. Yami's smiles were always forced, his voice radiated an inner hurt, and his eyes no longer shone with the confidence they once held, when Yugi had been hole. Yugi and Yami had both been broken; Yugi's body, and Yami's soul. The two halves that made one whole had been shattered one morning months ago, by a bit of bunched up carpet and a staircase.  
  
"Oh, " Bakura hissed as it started to rain. The clouds had loomed heavy the entire night, which was why it had been so cold. Now the dark clouds released their liquid burden upon the earth, soaking the buildings, streets, cars, and two lone boys racing through the night.  
  
The drizzle swiftly soaked Bakura's hair; his jagged silver bangs fell into his deadly sienna eyes. Icy cold droplets of water soaked his skin, making it clammy. His mouth was twisted into a grim line as he ran to his and Ryou's house. Their father had been gone for a few months now on yet another dig, so no one would be home.  
  
Yami was so light in Bakura's arms; he was almost as light as Ryou was. He was unresponsive to the rain; his thin body convulsed with great sobs that tore at his throat as anguish and sorrow tore through his mind and heart, ripping them to shreds.  
  
Bakura's hold tightened as his pace increased, an occasional trickle of blood still splattering to the sidewalk, but it went unnoticed in the darkness and cold rain. He ran the remaining blocks home, his over taxed lungs starving for air, but still Bakura pushed himself. He had to get Yami out of the rain.  
  
He jammed the key into the lock, cursing and jarring the door until the lock gave way under his frantic, one handed administrations. Panting heavily and dripping water onto the pristine carpets, Bakura headed straight to the couch and laid Yami on the cushions after knocking off some cds and notebooks.  
  
Yami's exhausted body could no longer give way to the sorrow clawing at his heart, and he merely lay thoroughly drenched and panting. His tears were only a trickle, yet his heart still burned in misery. Now with his hands free, Bakura clicked on the lamp that was next to the couch.  
  
Yami moaned as the bright light assailed his eyes. Bakura immediately went to work removing Yami's soaked clothes, throwing them carelessly onto the floor. Yami's damp body was naked and exposed under the artificial light. His body was thin; too thin. Each of his ribs was visible with every shallow breath he drew, and his skin was ghostly pale. His face was drawn and haunted, his dark ruby eyes like two huge bruises.  
  
"Dear God!" Bakura cried in horror. He had seen many a mangled corpse in his life, but nothing as haunting and terrifying as this. The Yami he had known was gone, and in his place was a pale, lifeless shadow.  
  
Goosebumps dotted Yami's pale skin, and he started to shiver. Bakura automatically grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and pulled it over Yami, wrapping him up in it and taking Yami into his arms for extra warmth. Although how warm Yami would be held against his cold, soaked clothes Bakura didn't know. He laid Yami, who moaned, his lips turning blue, back down and removed his own clothes. Hearing Yami's teeth starting to chatter, and his eyes glazing over, he knew he had to get him warmed up. But first, they needed to be dry.  
  
Bakura stood up and ran quickly into the messy bathroom. He grabbed the last of the clean towels and the hair dryer, then rushing back to Yami's side. Yami lay, pale and unmoving, on the couch. If Bakura didn't hurry, Yami could slip into shock and have to go to the hospital. The silver haired yami quickly toweled himself off, making a mental note to get a hair cut; his hair was so soaked that he had to wrap a towel around the thick, tangled mess.  
  
After haphazardly drying himself off, he flung back the scratchy wool blanket so that he had access to Yami's body. The naked Bakura dried the naked pharaoh off, pressing so hard with the rough towels that he scratched Yami in several places. Yami whimpered at the rough treatment, his eyes half closed and unresponsive. Bakura then took a towel and wrapped it around Yami's sodden mess of hair to keep it from dripping down onto his body, then wrapping him back up in the blanket and pulling him flush against his gloriously muscled, naked body.  
  
After half an hour of frantically rubbing warmth back into Yami, whose soft skin was now slightly puffed and rubbed red and raw from Bakura's rough handling, slowly started to stir on his own. Bakura was flooded with relief when Yami let out a soft moan and shook his head, which was supported by Bakura's arm and was heavy due to his wet hair and towel.  
  
Yami moaned again, his long lashes fluttering open as he pushed against Bakura's chest, mumbling. "B-Bakura....I....Y-Yugiiiii...."  
  
"Shut up; you're not going anywhere. Knowing you, you have your hikari tucked safe and warm in his bed. Now you're the one who needs looking after. it, Yami, what the hell's happened to you?"  
  
Yami flinched at the harsh tone, tears welling in his ruby eyes and slipping down his sunken cheeks. "I-I can't heal him; h-he's...he'll n- never..w-walk..." Yami broke off, sobbing and burying his face into a startled Bakura's neck. His thin body shook with the force of his sobs, and all Bakura could do was hold him and let him cry.  
  
Ryou lay on his back. The hospital room was dark and silent. His lights had been turned out; he was supposed to be asleep. But even heavily medicated, his mind wouldn't let him rest. The only things he had to distract himself from dismal thoughts were the constant beeping and whirring of his many machines, and the clicking of nurse's heels out in the hall.  
  
Every time he'd close his tired, doe brown eyes, they'd jerk wide awake instantly. Fear raced through him with the thought that this could be the last time he'll ever close his eyes. He was afraid that if he went to sleep, he'd never wake up. Recent tests had revealed that his leukemia was back full force, and, while pretending to sleep, he had overheard a doctor tell Bakura that he could die at any moment.  
  
He didn't have much longer left. Each breath could be his last. He'd never see his friends again; he'd never see Yugi's soft smile, hear Yami's velvety laugh, or hear Bakura's dark chuckles. Bakura....  
  
Ryou felt his heart twitch. They'd come so far; Bakura had been winning the battle against his inner demons. They'd fought so hard. But in the end, it didn't even matter. He was going to die, and he might never get to say good-bye to Bakura.  
  
His yami hadn't told him the news, most likely because he didn't' want him to worry. But worry Ryou did; he didn't want to leave without saying good bye! Bakura probably wanted his last days spent on this earth as happy, pain-free and worry-free as possible.  
  
But Ryou couldn't be any of those things; he felt like he was being robbed, being cheated. He was still so young; he had so much he wanted to do in life, so many dreams he wanted to chase. He couldn't picture the future without him in it.  
  
Ryou whimpered; he hated thinking those dark thoughts. He shuddered at the image of his lifeless body, cold and stiff, being lowered into the ground. His name carved upon stone. A mournful Yami, Yugi, and Bakura throwing flowers on top of his casket.  
  
He shook his head as viciously as he could to clear it, but only succeeded in bringing about fresh, stabbing pain to his body. He whimpered again, his heart racing as he fought the darkness. He wasn't going to give up; he could do this. He did it before; he'd beaten leukemia before. He'd do it again. Right? Right?  
  
Ryou moaned, stirring restlessly, but soon his eyelids grew heavy as more and more morphine dripped from the IV and into his bloodstream, making him so, so very, very very sleepy..........

tbc.....

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review? please? You know, I've been thinking, and I could very easily-and am SO tempted to do so, make this a bakura x yami ficcie. Maybe I'll put a lil side chappie up, a lil bakura x yami action, and link ya guys to it. Any thoughts?


	7. naked

.....well, here we go, another chapter. .  
  
First off, the usual, HUGE thank you to those of you who reviewed! Luv ya! .  
  
(points above to rating) Just to remind you guys, this IS a PG-13 rated fic. This is NOT an out right yaoi; there is NO sexual content or kissing or romance of any kind. This fic focuses more on emotions and close bonds of people-be it romance, friendship, or kinship. However, Bakura and Yami are naked, as in the previous chapter. No, there is kissing or anything of that nature going on; just alot of emotions.  
  
I put the nudity in because nudity is symbolic with vunlnerability. Being naked is the ultimate expression of openness; there's nothing to hide you, nothing to shield you. Everything's out in the open. It's raw and open, and that's what I want this fic to focus on; raw, open emotion, and having Bakura and Yami naked seems to help establish the whole emotional thing-  
  
yam: do you realize just how stupid you sound?  
  
-.- shut up.  
  
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Bakura rocked Yami as he cried into his bare shoulder; he could feel Yami's hot tears on his exposed, slightly tanned skin. The tomb robber rubbed Yami's back through the scratchy light blue blanket and rested his chin on top of Yami's towel-covered head. He'd taken his own towel off a while ago, and his thick silver hair hung in heavy and damp about him, sticking to his neck and cheeks.  
  
Bakura sighed; he had no words of comfort. He didn't know what to tell Yami; comfort and solace had never been his forte, and he was usually the reason someone was seeking them. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd made Ryou cry.  
  
Ryou......Bakura sighed again, wishing he had a very potent bottle of pure Russian vodka, not the imitation st they made here in the States. Pure, genuine Russian vodka, brewed and bottled in Russia, that would knock him out senseless for a few days. From the sounds of it, Yami could use some, too, though he never knew the tri-colored teen to drink. Bakura sneered a bit; that probably was from sweet little Yugi's influence.  
  
He felt Yami's hot pants as the boy was struggling to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. His slender, naked body, wrapped in just the old, itchy blanket, shuddered. Physically, Yami was beyond exhaustion, yet his soul continued to scream in agony.  
  
Bakura wished for a moment that he could be like him; that he could let his own pain flow. The bigger boy's lip curled and he snorted. He could never be so open as that; it didn't have much to do with the male ego, but more to do with the fact that he'd been through hell and back. Egypt had been no picnic; he'd survived an abusive father, struggling for food, surviving on the streets, running from the law, numerous fights, numerous killings.......Yes, Bakura's soul was bitter and black indeed. His mangled heart had run out of blood to bleed long ago.  
  
Yet there had to be a drop or two left in that little, twisted black mass for him to watch over Ryou, and for him to be here, right now, holding a weeping and broken pharaoh. Bakura tightened his arms around that slim body when Yami gave a dry sob. The boy was going to cry himself to death.  
  
Bakura snorted, pulling himself out of his inner thoughts. The only sounds in the house were the pounding of rain and rumble of thunder outside, the tick tock of a clock somewhere, and Yami's sobs and labored breathing. And yet, no matter how shattered he was, Bakura grudgingly admired Yami. While Bakura had been supporting Ryou, Yami was overboard with Yugi. He took care of his hikari constantly; he was always, always at Yugi's side, and the hikari spent most of his day in Yami's arms. Bakura spent the majority of his time in Ryou's hospital room with him, he didn't hold him in his arms and soothe him.  
  
Yami might as well have Yugi staple gunned to his a--, Bakura thought with a slight scowl and held Yami even closer still, crushing him against his chest when he shivered some more. Bakura didn't want to look at him; didn't want to see him so broken. He was as broken on the inside as Yugi was on the outside. So Bakura looked about the room, looking at the dark shadows of the night, at their soaked clothes, which had formed a puddle on the carpet, in the bright lamp light, to the sofa, chair, and coffee table, which were littered with things-cds, video games, plates, garbage- and other clutter he'd failed to put away over the past few months. Yes, the house which had once been so neat, orderly, and tidy was falling into disarray, under Bakura's care, or lack thereof.  
  
Bakura's dark chocolate eyes widened in surprise when one of Yami's sobs turned into a gagging cough. He quickly looked down and thumped Yami soundly on his bony back to help him stop choking. The smaller boy gave one last cough, shuddered, and went limp. Bakura looked down, turning Yami so he could see his face. "Yami?"  
  
Yami looked up at him, tears shimmering in his bright ruby eyes which were staring at Bakura as if they didn't even see him. The tomb robber's fingers trembled as he reached up and caressed Yami's soft, pale skin and brushed back the jagged golden bangs.  
  
Yami whimpered and Bakura lowered his head so their foreheads were touching. "Shut up." But the gentleness of his voice took away the harshness of the words. "I've got you; you're okay, Yami."  
  
Yami shook his head, whimpering again and pushing weakly at Bakura's chest. "Y-yugi..he...he n-needs me..."  
  
Bakura let out a low growl and forcefully tightened his hold on Yami, making him cry out in pain as his ribs started to give way. Bakura smirked, letting Yami know who was stronger and who was in charge right now.  
  
Yami's head lolled forward in defeat, and he let out a strangled sigh. "B- but Y-Yugi-"  
  
"Isn't currently damp and naked in my arms after having been running in a torrential downpour. He's probably safe and warm in bed, not catching his death of cold right now." Almost as if saying the word 'bed' made him tired, Bakura yawned. His lean muscles were starting to cramp up from being in one position and holding Yami so long.  
  
Bakura's yawn triggered one from Yami, and the former pharaoh blushed, but his eyes were still full of sorrow. The silver haired boy suddenly laid back and Yami squeaked in surprise as he was taken with him. His slender, thin body lay atop Bakura's built one, and Bakura's strong arms still crushed Yami to his chest. The majority of Yami's nude body was still under the covers, but the shifting of their nude bodies caused some of his pale limbs to become exposed to the cool air, and he shivered. Bakura pulled the slightly damp blanket over both of them, and Yami merely lay his head on Bakura's shoulder, breathing softly and his mind racing.  
  
He needed to get back to Yugi; he'd been gone a lot longer than he should've been. He didn't want to leave his hikari alone, but it had just been too much at the moment....and he felt so good, so safe here in Bakura's arms.....but what if Yugi needed him? Yami whimpered and pushed against Bakura's chest. "I ..need ...to...check ...on...Yugi..."  
  
Bakura was half way asleep. He'd always been good at handling his liquor; he was no light-weight, but if he consumed enough alcohol, then he got sleepy. He'd been out drinking earlier, and after riding the emotional roller coasters of Ryou and Yami, the former tomb robber was ready to fall asleep, and he didn't care where. Right here, buck naked on the floor with another boy on top of him didn't bother him a damn bit. Bakura's dark chocolate eyes had just drifted close when he felt Yami squirming and struggling to get loose.  
  
The bigger boy snorted in agitation and wrapped both arms tightly around Yami, feeling the smaller boy tense as he was ruthlessly crushed against him. Yami made a funny little half squeak, half gasp as the air was knocked out of his lungs and his vision blurred for a moment. When he was released from the iron grip, he collapsed against Bakura. Yami's already weakened, exhausted body couldn't handle the extra stress.  
  
Bakura smirked as he felt Yami's hot, swift little pants against his neck. "Now, shut the (beep) up and go to sleep." He growled, rolling over and pinning Yami partway beneath him. Yami, his body too exhausted to cooperate with him in fighting Bakura, lay trapped in an entanglement of limbs and blanket, staring at the ceiling with blood shot ruby eyes until his racing mind finally keeled over in exhaustion.  
  
tbc......  
  
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well, review please! pretty please? holds up ryou and yugi, both with big chibie eyes and if you've already reviewed, you're more than welcome to review again! double the kisses from these two cuties if you do!

and, i bet the reviewers of chapter 6 think i forgot 'em...well, i didn't! .

meowblecat: i get a kitty if i don't kill the hikaris off? hmm....i'll hafta think about it.... well, since you said hikaris, i'm assuming you won't mind if something utterly tragic were to befall yami and he died.... just joking! (blinks) at least, i think i am...  
  
mimiheart: thanks. i agree; there is too much angst in this story. i never intended it to be this angsty, but the story just kinda wrote itself...evil muses...  
  
hikari lunar: i'm taking the middle-road and going with a half and half thing; it can be seen either as just a really deep bond between friends or the beginning of romantic feelings. so, it's not yaoi, but it is. (blinks) now isn't that confusing?  
  
chicary: (blinks) i never looked at it like that; yours definatly was an interesting review!  
  
russle: i think this story is going to be more of an emotional one than a romance...i've just been dying to do a bakura x yami romance, though....as for the terminally ill part...yesh, poor ryou ish sicky pooh and yugi's crippled...but miracles do happen....  
  
inuyasha0001: angsty stories make me cry, too! .  
  
cloud1-3-5: i can't see bakura being gentle, either. i hope i don't make him too OOC; though i'm sure i've done that to yami by now. -.- i try not to, but....you know my weakness for a uke-yami! As to whether or not Ryou lives or dies.....i don't think i'll tell......i dun wanna ruin the ending!


	8. together

I want to let you guys know that this isn't going to be a deathfic. That doesn't mean the ending is going to be all sun shine and roses, although it could be. I'm not giving the ending away-heck, I don't even know what it's going to be, mysef, but no one's going to die. .  
  
yugi and ryou: -.- yeah, we feel SO much better now  
  
eh, anyway, a huge thank you as always to my wonderful reviewers, and those of you who have me/my stories on your favorites list and author alert. .  
  
Mimiheart: glad you enjoyed the scene. I never really plan on chapter length; I just kinda let everything write itself, but this is one of my shorter-chapter stories  
  
Chicary: I love a very vulnerable, emotionally or physically distraught Yami. I, too, get so tired of him being so high and mighty and ...well, perfect, all the time. It's just hard to write him broken but still have him in character. Bakura's confusion is more my fault; I had trouble writing him as being-dare I say it- nice and comforting yet having him in character, and that came across in my writing.  
  
Inuyasha0001: I tried to make Bakura a nice bad-ass, but it didn't work out too well.  
  
Russle: Yes, Bakura does have a very filthy mouth, and he's just so eloquent. But I tried to clean his mouth up as much as I could.  
  
Hikari Lunar: Never fear, Ryou's in this chapter.  
  
Meowblecat: sighs I never get to have any fun...can't kill off the hikaris...can't kill off the yamis...sniffs .  
  
Mafdet-TK: yesh, Bakura was OOC, but I wanted some Bakura and Yami being close. I tried to keep him IC, but it didn't work, but I like Bakura being snuggly!  
  
Nonymous: Thanks for adding me to your favs. list, and I'm glad you like my other fic, whichever one of my other fics your reading. And don't cry; this chapter's a little bit happier! . Can't have too much angst, can we?  
  
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"Oi, earth to Yug, come in Yug. We're playing checkers, not chess." Jou leaned back in his chair, one arm flung behind it, slouching in his seat.  
  
Across the table, Yugi was lost in thought. "Huh? Sorry." He shook his head when Jou called out to him and blinked momentarily in confusion.  
  
"It's your turn-Hey, Yug, what's wrong? You've been actin' awful funny lately. Kinda spaced out."  
  
"I...it's nothing..." The little one looked down, his golden, jagged bangs falling across his soft cheeks and hiding his face as he pulled absentmindedly on his jean shorts. Tears welled in his eyes and ran down his soft, round cheeks. He looked up at Jou. "It's Yami; he left last night, and he hasn't been home since then. What if...." Yugi's voice grew soft with his worry and guilt. "What if he left...because of me? I...I...I've been such a burden..." He trailed off, sniffling, and looked back down again.  
  
Jou was out of his chair and kneeling down in front of Yugi's wheelchair in an instant. He laid his rough hands gently on top of Yugi's dainty ones. The little one's tears splashed down onto his hands, and Jounouchi lightly rubbed the backs of Yugi's hands. "Yug, Yami loves ya very much; he's always been takin' such good care of ya. There's no way he'd ever not love ya...."  
  
Instead of bringing comfort, as his words were intended to do, they only seemed to make the crippled hikari more upset. Yugi's tears fell faster and he let out a small sob. One hand rose up to cover his mouth and his slim shoulders started to shake as Yugi broke down. "Y-yami's done s-so m- much for m-me...and h-he shouldn't h-have to....h-he d-doesn't d-deserve th- this....I-I'm nothing but a burden...I'm useless...."  
  
Jou's heart wrenched in his chest, and he hesitated, afraid he would hurt the already broken body, then his hands slid under Yugi's armpits and he picked Yami's hikari up carefully, laying his head against his shoulder and letting the limp body rest against his own. Jou's voice was thick with tears as he held his friend as tightly as he dared, able to feel Yugi's back brace through the t-shirt the small boy wore. "No, Yug, don't ya dare ever say that. You're not, Yug. You're not." He repeated firmly, kneeling on the kitchen floor besides the wheelchair and letting his friend cry his heart out on his shoulder.  
  
Ryou winced, hating the cold, dry air of the oxygen tank. His tired, dull brown eyes flickered longingly to the window, where a fat little blue bird was happily twittering away, his feathers ruffled by a breeze. How he longed for fresh, rejuvenating, natural air! How he longed to feel soft, sun-warmed grass between his toes and feel nature's wind washing over his body. It had been so long since he'd been outside....  
  
The pale boy sighed, his eyelids growing heavy. He wanted to be out of here, wanted to enjoy life. He didn't want to die in some hospital room as just another number on a piece of paper. He didn't want die at all. It wasn't his time; he was young, full of life, promise, and untapped potential. Death shouldn't come knocking for a long time, and yet, according to the doctors, he could die at any second. That happy little bird, oblivious to his sorrows, could be the last thing he'll ever see.  
  
His eyelids started slipping shut, and Ryou snapped them open, eyes darting around the room for something to look at, something to keep him occupied. But there was nothing in this room except while painted walls and the machinery keeping him alive. It was cold, impersonal and sterile. His eyes flickered back to the heavy glass windows and the cheerful blue jay.  
  
Ryou wished he was that bird, as dumb and ignorant as it was. It was carefree, happy, its body young and strong with no disease crippling it, slowly killing it from the inside out....  
  
The silver haired hikari whimpered and tried to push those dark thoughts out of his mind, but they constantly plagued him; they were always waiting, waiting in the recess of his mind and sprang up any chance they got to gleefully torment him.  
  
He couldn't give into them. He had to keep fighting....but why resist the inevitable? It would be much easier to just give in, let the sickness take its toll and waste away to nothing. Then there'd be no pain, no exhaustion, no needles, no constantly ticking machines. He'd be free of it all.....  
  
Ryou whimpered again and turned his head in a weak attempt to shake it, but his head was too heavy to move. He tried to lift a hand, but the weight of the IV needle in it made that too heavy as well. He wanted it all to go away; wanted out of here.  
  
Yugi had gotten out, and for one brief moment, the sweet boy felt a flash of jealousy. Although Yugi was paralyzed, at least he was alive. Ryou would gladly trade placed with the crippled boy. Sure, he would be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, but at least he'd have the rest of his life; it wouldn't be cruelly snatched from him.  
  
Ryou closed his eyes in an attempt to hide from the guilt that washed over him. He'd never wish this upon anyone, and he would never deny Yugi his right to live. This was the hand that fate had dealt him, Ryou, and it was he who must deal with it. No matter how unfair it was.  
  
Yes, life was cruelly, bitterly, ironically unfair. There was much injustice in the world, many innocents who suffered and many sinners who went unpunished. But that was life. Hadn't Bakura taught him that? What would Bakura think, if he was here right now, reading Ryou's thoughts? Ryou whimpered; he already knew the answer. Bakura would be ashamed at having such a weak hikari....  
  
Even little Yugi had been brave and fought against the odds. He hadn't won; he still couldn't move his legs or even sit up by himself, but he had fought. And if Yugi could do it, then so could Ryou. He'd be strong, too; he'd fight. He may not win, but he would go down fighting.  
  
With one final sight, Ryou let his eyes slid shut, as they'd been struggling to do, and gave into an exhausted, medication-induced slumber.  
  
The screen door opened with a bang that made both boys jump. Bakura stood in the door way, his booted foot having left a dirt imprint on the faded yellow paint. Not breaking his stride once, he strode into the cramped kitchen with Yami in his arms. He sneered, falling back on old habits, when he saw Jounouchi and the crying hikari.  
  
Yami gasped, concern for Yugi immediately swelling in his chest, and he wriggled in Bakura's strong arms as he looked up at him with a silent, pleading look. Bakura acquiesced and gently lowered him, being mindful of Yami's gauze-covered foot.  
  
Yami limped as fast as painfully possible to his hikari, not caring about himself, only thinking of Yugi, and falling hard to his knees on the linoleum floor besides Jou. "Yugi! Yugi, sweet one, what's wrong?" He reached out, slim fingers touching Yugi's arm.  
  
Instead of turning and going to Yami as he usually did, Yugi whimpered and clung tighter to Jou. Jou had a bewildered, helpless look on his face, and hurt flashed in Yami's crimson eyes. "Yugi...it's me, Yami..." He whispered softly, stroking Yugi's thin arm.  
  
Yugi fisted his hands in Jou's shirt, his voice muffled by the cotton cloth. "Go 'way, 'Ami."  
  
Yami whimpered, tears starting to trickle down his cheeks. "Please, my angel, tell me what's wrong. I love you; let me help. Let me make it better. to me...."  
  
When Yugi only whimpered again and cried harder, Jou came to a decision and finally looked at Yami. "He thinks he's a burden on you." He said softly, flinching at Yugi's gasp of betrayal. The little one looked up at him, teary eyes wide and a sob still in his throat, but Jou merely averted his eyes.  
  
"Yugi, my little one, my sweet angel....you could never be a burden. I love you so much....I may get .....frustrated....with ..life, but never you, my sunshine....Please, hikari, come to me." Yami pleaded, opening his arms for Yugi.  
  
Yugi detached himself from Jou enough to turn his head, the only part of his body, besides his arms, that he still had control over and was immobilized by that awful, heavy plastic back brace. He took one look at the anguish in his beloved yami's eyes and nodded, pushing on Jou's chest and going backwards into Yami's arms.  
  
Yami caught him up and held him tightly, rubbing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. He closed his eyes and let out a contented sight, happy merely having Yugi in his arms once more, and Yugi snuggled into his yami.  
  
Jou looked over at Bakura, who stood with his empty arms crossed and looking at nothing in particular. "Well....dun know about the rest of ya, but I feel highly awkward...so yeah....I think I'll take my leave. Catch ya later, Yug." He got to his feet, glanced once at the board of their unfinished game, and positioned his one remaining red piece purposefully so that Yugi could jump it and win the game, then wordlessly walked past Bakura into the bright, sunny day.  
  
As Bakura watched the two, he felt something akin to hope rise within him. Those two had each other, as did he and Ryou, but, somehow, that hadn't seemed like enough to pull either yami and hikari through. But having Yami in his arms, so close, had made a difference. Here was someone he could gain strength from, someone he didn't have to worry about dying on him unexpectedly, someone who could relate and understand what he was going through.  
  
"Yugi..." Yami whispered softly into Yugi's ear, rocking the little one slightly. "Bakura's here; he brought me home. I went for a walk last night, and it started to rain, so Bakura let me stay at his place....and I was thinking we could go with him to see Ryou at the hospital." Yugi nodded and laid his head on Yami's bare shoulder.  
  
Yami smiled a little and hugged Yugi tighter. It still felt so good, so relieved to have his angel back in his arms. Bakura's presence added to the feeling. He wasn't exactly happy, but he wasn't miserable, either. He felt....stronger, like, as long as he had those two at his side, he could face anything, could get through it. He could be strong for his Yugi. They could all be strong for each other.  
  
&&&&&  
  
tbc.....  
  
review? please? i'll give you a cookie! 


	9. punchdrunk

As always, a big thank you to all who reviewed. . I don't have time to do the individual thank yous (am in between classes right now, sneaking this up!) , but you know I love you all! . And CJ, I'm definately interested in reading the alternative ending you wrote, so please e-mail it to me. My e-mail is 

The hospital was as it always ways; bland, impersonal, and stunk of sickness and sterilization mingled together, with just a hint of lemon-scented Clorox. The hallways were all the same; white and gray with watercolor paintings of flowers here and there in a sad attempt to brighten things up and make the patients and visitors feel more comfortable.

Yami shivered; he hated the smell and coldness of hospitals. No matter the weather outside, inside it was always a consistent, chilly temperature. He briefly wondered why this was so, until he noticed Bakura was half way down the hall ahead of him, leaning over a vending machine.

He tried to limp faster to catch up, but he was already pushing himself as much as he could. His foot hadn't needed stitches; Bakura had just cleaned it and wrapped it to hold the gauze pad in place. It hurt like hell and didn't make walking any easier. And Yugi, as small and fragile as he was, got heavy after a while.

Yami took a rather big step as he tried to hurry, and he stumbled. He and Yugi both cried out in surprise, Yugi tightening his small fists into Yami's hoodi as the bigger boy fell into the wall and winced in pain. "Yami, you okay?" Yugi looked up anxiously, reaching up to lightly touch Yami's soft cheek with the tips of his fingers.

Yami's face was scrunched up in pain, and he breathed heavily for a few moments until he felt the butterfly soft caress and forced his lips into a smile that was more of a grimace. "I-I'm fine. Just...just winded..."

The petite boy in his arms frowned. "You should've let Bakura carry me; I wouldn't have minded...." He trailed off; he wasn't particularly crazy about that idea, but he didn't want to see his yami struggling, either. "Or you could've brought my wheelch-"

"NO!" Yami hissed vehemently, clutching Yugi tightly to him. He didn't even want to think about that horrid thing. He was still in denial; Yugi was just hurt; he was still healing. That's all. He wasn't crippled. He wasn't. He'd walk again. He didn't need that-that thing.

Down the hall, Bakura was engaged in waging a holy war on the vending machine. He'd put his money in, and the stupid piece of shit had yet to give him his candy. He growled when nothing happened after punching buttons for the seventh time. Why is it those damn things never worked?

"You fucking son of a-" He snarled, punching the plexi glass and nearly cracking it. Damn, it was good to have supernatural powers. Another hit, and it'd shatter. He smirked, cracked his knuckles, which were slightly pink from the previous blow, and pulled his fist back.

"Bakura?" His head turned sharply to the side when he heard Yami's exhausted voice. The boy was limping towards him, finally within hailing distance, his face unnaturally pale and drawn, and his crippled hikari clutched tightly in his arms. Bakura turned back to the machine, his upper lip curled in a snarl. He gave it a violent shake, tilting it forwards then slamming it loudly back against the wall. The goodies inside rattled, as if mocking him. One more shake would do the trick......

"There's security monitors all over the place." Yugi spoke up, his head laying on Yami's thin shoulder.

Bakura snorted. "No shit. And your point is?"

Yugi looked down at his hands, going quiet again. Yami rolled his eyes and gave a soft, tired sigh. "Let me try..."

Bakura sneered in frustration. "Yeah, like you'll be able to do anything..." From under the fringe of his jagged golden bangs, Yugi gave the silver haired yami an upset glare, which he didn't even notice. But the hurt look in Yami's eyes made him instantly regret his harsh words. He kicked the bottom of the vending machine in frustration, narrowed eyes focused intently on it as if all of his pent up hostility would melt the metal, plastic, and glass into a puddle of burning goo at his feet.

Yami barely heard Bakura's quick, mumbled "Sorry". His heart skipped a beat; had foul mouth, hot headed, destruction prone Bakura actually just apologize? Yugi was silent in his arms, having not heart Bakura's apology, and Yami blinked a few times, his long, thick black lashes fluttering rapidly before he smiled softly at Bakura.

He shifted his hip, holding his little hikari out to the other yami. Bakura hesitated, then uncomfortably took the fragile body into his arms. Yugi was looking down at his legs, which he couldn't feel, and where Bakura's strong arms were just below his butt, supporting his weight. Bakura, for his part, was still as a statue, watching Yami work. He was uncomfortable enough holding Yami, though that hadn't been as bad as he'd've thought, but he wasn't prepared to hold this little fey imp who he'd seen kiss Yami's pale cheek and snuggle up under his chin countless times. Even Ryou didn't snuggle with him; Bakura had never been close to anyone, and he wasn't particularly fond of it, either. Though he did care for his hikari, and Yami and Yugi, the emotion thing was new to him, and he liked his personal space. All ten feet of it.

Yami looked at the two out of the corner of his eye and his shy smile grew wide. Poor Yugi, poor Bakura! How uncomfortable they looked. But all the needed was time to get used to each other, and Bakura being close to people in general. He turned back to the task at hand. After asking Bakura what he'd been after, he laid his forehead against the cool Plexiglas, raised his right hand and rested his fingertips on the smooth surface, right in front of the Snickers bar. His eyes were closed in concentration and he began to rub little circles on the glass. It wavered once, then, slowly, very slowly, the wire candy holder began to twirl, and with a clank, the candy bar fell down into the wide-mouthed retrieval shoot.

Yami reached down, grabbed it, then turned and offered it to Bakura with another small smile, his ruby eyes flickering with an emotion that he hadn't felt in a long time; humor. "Whatever." Bakura scowled, shoving Yugi roughly into Yami's surprised arms and snatching the candy bar from him and taking off down the hall. He didn't go too far ahead, lest they loose him, but he kept away enough to be out of talking distance. Yugi and Yami exchanged smiling glances, then Yami hiked Yugi up higher on his hip and started off after Bakura, going a little slower so he wouldn't tire himself out this time.

Bakura's fingers halted just before he tore the wrapper; he wanted to eat it right now, but had a feeling, a second thought that came from his gut-instincts, that he should save it for later, perhaps share it with Yami and Yugi. He snorted; yeah right. Nonetheless, he shoved the Snickers bar into his baggy jeans pocket. He looked over his shoulder to check on Yami, making sure the boy wasn't straining himself as he limped along.

He was near the end of the corridor, about to turn the corner. He leaned against the wall, waiting for Yami to catch up so he wouldn't be too far behind, but then a loud thump, the sound of something hard and breakable falling to the tiles, and a muttered curse nabbed his attention. He turned the corner, leaning against it so his back would still be visible to Yami, crossed his arms, and smirked at the copper-haired girl nudging with a booted foot a water color painting with a busted frame that lay on the floor.

"Oni, what the hell are you doing here? Break a rib from getting stuck behind a couch again?" He smirked as her head shot up, green eyes slightly unfocused. He knew her from school, and they'd crossed paths at the occasional party, like the one where she ended up stuck behind a couch, which, unaware, he'd flung himself onto and broke a few of her ribs. Though, even if he'd known, it probably wouldn't have made a difference.

"As if this day couldn't get any worse..." Oni ran a hand through her tangled, wavy hair then took a swig from the iced tea bottle, but the color of the liquid inside wasn't the same as normal iced tea. And, knowing her, it probably wasn't, especially in the state she was in. She grimaced at the potency of the drink as it burned its way down her throat, eyes burning, then waved her empty hand carelessly at Bakura.

"I suppose you've come to see him, but now isn't the best of times. I've just found that out. Neither of them are...but you'll see..." She shook her head before hovering over the painting she'd broken. Unable to come up with a solution, she bent, picked the water color and cracked frame up, and shoved it behind the fake, green potted plant she'd tripped over, that had caused the whole mess in the first place.

"Yeah, you make a lot of sense." Bakura sneered, loosing his patience with her. "I'm the only one who ever comes to see Ryou-"

"What? Ryou? Then you don't know about Merik..."

"Bakura?" Bakura clenched his teeth, strongly resisting the urge to bash Oni's head off the wall. All he wanted to do was go see Ryou, and take the Motous with him. Some good news from a doctor would be a nice plus. But this; he didn't want to know, didn't want to care. Merik was perhaps the only other person in the world, besides Yami, that he'd consider a friend. He and Merik had often gotten in trouble at school, went to parties together, occasionally hung out. Bakura's social circle consisted of Yami and Merik.

Bakura didn't even turn to look at Yami, but kept his body in front of the two, separating them from Oni. He just wanted to get to his hikari, and away from her and her stupid insanity or insane stupidity. No such luck. Yugi had his face pressed into Yami's neck, but mumbled a shy, polite, inaudible "Hello." Yami peered over Bakura's shoulder, not as shy as his hikari, nor as polite. "What-what about Merik?"

Oni tilted her head to the side, gazing at him for a few minutes, unsure, in her inebriated state, whether she knew him or not. Not that it mattered; she shrugged, clawed at her hair, the sleeve of her fishnet undershirt catching on one of her skull earrings, and went to take another drink.

"You've probably had more than enough of that-" It was barely to her lips when Bakura reached out and yanked it from her. Some of the liquid splashed onto the sterile, white floor, along with a razor blade that had been in her hand along with the bottle.

Yami gasped and pressed himself into Bakura, squashing Yugi in the process. A sinking feeling rising in his stomach, head pounding with dread, Bakura's eyes widened. "What the fuck-?"

Oni seemed to come to her normal self for a few moments, the same sorrow that ate away at their souls and festered in their hearts reflected in her eyes. But she sought to drown it; she preferred burning anger or frozen indifference. Caring for someone came with prices she just wasn't ready, or willing, to pay. She sagged against the wall, her hands clenched into fists. "That stupid idiot has been playing with razors again. He went deep, too deep. Stupid son of a.....Malik found him; they've both been-"

She growled and banged a fist off of the wall. "Isis had hidden most of the blades and knives in the house, but there were ones she didn''t know about- Malik gave that one to me, didn't want either him or his yami to chance it, but he doesn't want his sister to know, either." She shook her head then banged it off the wall, letting the physical pain numb her and keep her stable. She wasn't a very emotional person, and wasn't close to anyone, really, and she and Merik definitely weren't dating; their relationship was merely physical, pleasure only, no strings- or hearts- attached. But...he was kind of like a friend to her, though she still didn't know what had possessed her to come and see him.

"Yeah, and giving you the blade is so much better." Bakura snorted, using sarcasm to shield against this new onslaught. He had enough shit in his life without this, especially considering all the time he'd hung out with the Ishtar boys and never noticed. His eyes flicked up to the ceiling; someone up there must really, really hate him, or else the ton of bad karma he'd accumulated was coming to catch up with him in one tidal wave. He sighed. "Great, just fucking great. " His hand tightened around the bottle, and unwittingly he took a swig, though that wasn't going to solve anything. He wanted to rage, to scream, smash his fist into the wall- and he would have, too, except he felt Yami shuddering against his back.

Yami pressed himself against Bakura, face buried in Yugi's hair. He wasn't crying, just trying to swallow this latest news. His heart ached enough, was already torn, by Yugi and Ryou. He barely knew Merik, and he didn't know the female. He'd only known Bakura through Yugi's friendship with Ryou. Still, hearing that someone you knew tried to kill themselves....he shuddered, feeling the room spinning around him and emitted a little whimper.

Yugi was clinging tightly to Yami. He knew Merik and his hikari even less than Yami did; they were mere acquaintances, yet he still felt very bad for both of them. He was willing to go see Merik, if Yami wanted too, but he wasn't overly fond of the idea. He really wanted to see Ryou. He hadn't seen his friend in a long time, and it would feel good just to be near him again, even if they both had broken bodies and heavy hearts.

Bakura looked at Oni for a moment, then, after another little whimper from Yami, put an arm around that slender waist, pulling him into his side and kissing the top of his head, Yugi squished but silent between them. "Yami..." He stopped, not knowing what to say; he hadn't seen either of the Ishtars, didn't know how they were faring. All he had to go on was Oni, and often times she was never very accurate, especially how she was now.

He held Yami and Yugi tightly for a few moments, closing his eyes as if they could shield themselves from the outside world, from this horrible place. Oni shifted, feeling awkward against all that emotion, wanting to escape it. It made her feel claustrophobic, squeezed in and suffocating, especially when it was her own heart threatening to choke her.

She clawed at her hair once more then snorted. "Aw, fuck it, I'm goin'. I don't even know what I was doing here in the first place..." She pushed herself away from the wall, and in passing them, thought about snatching back her drink, but Bakura would probably need it later more than she did right now.

Bakura opened one eye as she stalked past and nearly ran into the corner. He snorted; stupid idiot. Yami sighed softly, his breath warm on the soft skin of Bakura's neck. "Bakura, should we...do you want to...see Merik while we're here?"

Bakura hesitated; he wanted to see his friend, but he didn't want any more shit to go through, and he wanted to see his hikari, didn't want to have anything to do with Merik at the moment. He shook his head. "I don't know." Yami laid his head back down on his shoulder, but reached up and tentatively touched his cheek.

"We should; it's what friends do, plus they could probably really use some support right now..." Yugi spoke up, his voice muffled from Yami's shirt, and he pushed on his chest, drawing the two apart. It was hot, smashed in between two bodies, and hard to breathe after a while. Yami and Bakura looked at each other, both torn, and it was Bakura who looked at the floor, not responding. Yami slipped his slim hand into Bakura's and squeezed it reassuringly, giving him a silent message. Together. They'd hold each other up, weather the storms of life, drift on the sea of sorrow, together. It wasn't much, but it was just enough, to know that they had each other to put the pieces of their broken souls back together, and that closeness, that spiritual bond, was the glue that kept them from breaking there in the hospital hallway.

tbc...

&&&&

Yes, I know, evil little plot twist. . And I just couldn't resist a self-insert, and no, Oni's not going to play a major part in this. It was most likely a one-time scene, because I don't want this to be an excessively drawn out fic, so more than likely, the Ishtars aren't going to be in it much, either. There's enough angst already, and this fic is about Yami, Yugi, Bakura and Ryou.


	10. confused

A huge thank you to all of you who reviewed! I seriously enjoy getting reviews, that I do!

yami: -.- Quit talking like Kenshin. It's embarrassing.

Oro?

yami: -.- Well, the pace is picking up in the plot, even if Oni's brain isn't-

Hey!

yami: ignores her and the beginning of the end is starting.

blinks in confusion

& &&&&&&&&&

Bakura most certainly did NOT want to go and see Merik. His heart was already in so much pain he felt physically numb. He'd been pushed beyond his usual reactions of rage and indifference. There was no one for him to strike out at; there was nothing he could do to help Ryou, except be there for him, as Yami was for Yugi. It made Bakura feel helpless, and he hated being helpless; the rage would start to build up but have no target, so it would die down again, and the feeling of being lost, of having no way to fight would come back followed by the anger.

That cycle was broken by the soft body held tightly in his arms. Yami was something he could hold on to, feel like he was protecting; he was solid flesh and blood, and he wasn't slipping away from him; he wasn't dying like Ryou. Bakura clenched his teeth and flexed his muscles, drawing the warm flesh tighter to him and got two squeaks of pain in response.

He pulled back and looked down at Yami and Yugi, his dark brown eyes slightly widened. Yugi's little face was flushed and his small hands were fisted tightly in Yami's hoodi; it was hot between their two bodies. Yami's face was a little less pink than his hikari's, but that wasn't saying much. Both were breathing heavily from Bakura's last move.

Bakura started to pull away, put space between them again, but Yami, who was stroking Yugi's hair with one hand, stepped forward and put his head lightly on Bakura's shoulder again; Bakura kissed the top of his head, and that was that. Neither one wanted to talk, had no need for words.

After a few more moments of standing in the hallway with the missing, broken watercolor which was hidden behind a potted plant, Bakura wordlessly started to walk down the hall, but this time he had one arm around Yami's thin shoulders while Yami carried Yugi.

& & &

"What do you mean, we can't see him?!!" Bakura's dark chocolate eyes widened for the second time that day as he stared incredulously at the doctor. He was shocked, the tumbling emotions in him drenched with a bucket of ice cold water. Slowly, so slowly, his usual anger started to build up; his eyes narrowed and one hand started to curl into a fist, knuckles cracking as fingers curled.

Yugi's wide purple eyes filled with tears. "H-he's in a c-coma? W-When...w-why didn't anyone t-tell us....?" He trailed off helplessly, tears spilling down his soft cheeks and his lower lip trembling. Before he could break down crying, his tears turned to a cry of surprise as he was shoved into Bakura's arms.

Yami moved quickly; he knew Bakura was threatening to explode, and Yugi and himself were about to dissolve in tears. He went over to the doctor, his own ruby eyes shimmering with sparkling tears, his lower lip quivering just like Yugi's, and he whimpered. The doctor was young, newly graduated from college and still cared, still full of idealistic dreams of saving lives, of making a difference. And such, he gave into Yami's tears, his heart faltering under the weight of Yami's sorrow, and allowed them into the room.

& & &

Ryou had slipped into a coma shortly before their arrival. The cancer was spreading throughout his body, destroying healthy tissues, and Ryou was growing weaker as each day passed. The medications pumped into him only seemed to be slowing the deterioration; they were loosing the battle.

Bakura stared numbly at the bed, at the body that looked so fragile. The metal of the bedside railing was cold under his palms. Ryou was so still and silent; his breathing was forced by artificial means, and he now had a feeding tube going down his nose into his throat and stomach. His skin was pale and dry, peeling in some places. The older boy reached out to lightly stroke Ryou's hair, a shade lighter than his own. Under his touch, a few strands fell out; from the chemotherapy, Ryou was loosing his hair.

The sight of the sickly, yellowing skin and the thinning hair, once so fluffy and thick, Ryou's pride and glory, would have been funny under any normal circumstance. But there was nothing humorous about Ryou lying there, fighting for life, dependent upon drugs that were also harming his body as they fought for him. So long as his hikari lived, Bakura didn't care if Ryou would be bald; hell, he could be crippled and crazy, and Bakura would still take him. So long as he lived; that was all that mattered.

Ryou became blurred before his eyes; Bakura blinked, and felt a hot wetness slide down his cheeks. He reached up, wiped his face with his sleeve. He was crying, and his heart was bleeding, that helpless feeling pulling him in and consuming him. Then he heard a little sniffle; he looked over his shoulder and saw Yami holding Yugi tightly, as always, the little one with his face buried in Yami's chest, his shoulders shaking, and tears falling down Yami's cheeks.

Then he snapped, desperate for a familiar emotion, anything but facing Ryou's demise. He whirled around, and snapped, the tears gone, eyes blazing with anger and hatred, lips twisted in a snarl. "Why should you cry? It's not your hikari that's dying. You're just a pathetic, whining whelp, Motou. Yugi will never walk; get the fuck over it."

Yami gasped, his mouth open in shock, tears frozen on his thick black lashes, ruby eyes wide. "B-Bakur-ra?"

Bakura snarled, hatred flashing in his eyes, and he lost it; he shoved Yami as he stalked past; Yugi cried out as Yami's arms dropped from around him, and he fell to the floor, the breath knocked from his small body upon impact, a jarring, searing pain racing down the bones in his back to disappear at his legs. Yami stumbled backwards, falling after a few clumsy attempts to regain his balance; he fell when he put all his slight weight on his cut foot, and he fell backwards, the wall catching him part way down. He hit his head, and bright spots of light danced across his eyes as Bakura stormed out into the hall.

It took several moments for Yami to regain his breath and his senses. He rubbed the back of his head where a very sore bruise was beginning to form. He was stunned and confused by Bakura's sudden hostility, and disoriented from the blow to his head. His body was shaking slightly and he felt weak. He heard little whimpers and moans. "Yugi? Aibou, are you alright?"

Yugi's very thin shoulders were shaking with sobs. He had never liked Bakura, never trusted him. Though he'd wanted to see Ryou, he knew coming here with Bakura was a bad idea, and he was right. Bakura had no heart. That look of dark hatred in his face, in his eyes, reflecting the blackness in his soul, scared Yugi. The little one whimpered and cried harder. He wanted to run, run far away from here, back home where it was safe. But he couldn't even roll over. He was just lucky he was wearing his much hated back brace, which had stabilized his back and hopefully helped keep it from further injury.

"Yugi!" Yami crawled over to his hikari and pulled him into his lap. The smaller boy snuggled against him, face buried in his shoulder while Yami examined him, panic making his heart stop. Yugi's spine was very fragile; what if it had been damaged? The only thing he could find on his soft skin was a few budding bruises matching his own. "Where does it hurt?"

"I...Yami...my back; I felt pain from here...to here...." Yugi caught one of Yami's trembling hands in his smaller one and placed it on the top of his chest, since he couldn't reach his back, and drew it down to just before his navel. The little fingers clasping Yami's trembled, and under the thick cotton of Yugi's long sleeved shirt, Yami could feel the encompassing hard plastic of the brace.

"Yugi...there? All the way? B-but.." Yami wasn't sure what to make of that; ever since falling down the stairs, Yugi hadn't been able to feel anything at all below his armpits. Tears welled in his eyes, and he wasn't sure if they were happy or sad ones. "It...c-can't..."

Yugi smiled softly, sadly, his own eyes reflecting what he saw in Yami's face, and tears trembled on his lashes, too. "You know what this....this m-might mean?" He dared not voice it aloud, dared not even to wish that it might be true. "I...oh, Yami..." His tears fell at the same time as Yami's, and the bigger boy leaned down. Their foreheads touched, and Yami kissed Yugi's trembling lower lip softly as he would that of a younger sibling, or friend.

Yami's arms were tight around Yugi, his face buried in the little one's hair, tears soaking the tri-colored locks. Yugi pressed his face into the hot hollow of Yami's neck, his tears trickling down Yami's shirt, soaking it and dampening his soft skin. They sat on the cold, tiled floor by Ryou's bed and cried for Bakura's hatred, cried for Ryou, cried for the cruel hand fate had dealt them all, cried for Merik and Malik, for the hope that was dangling above their heads, just out of reach; their fingertips could only brush against it. They cried until every last tear had dried up, then just sat numbly on the floor, holding each other, minds and hearts numb.

& & &

Bakura's hands were clenched into fists, his face was twisted into a menacing scowl, and his eyes burned with the fires of hell. He stalked through the halls like a predator looking for prey. He saw everything through a distant red haze, his anger ruling over his rationality.

He wanted to break something, wanted so smash it into a thousand tiny pieces. He wanted Ryou whole and healthy, smiling softly and laughing again. He wanted to see Ryou run, hear him begging Bakura to take him to the library or coffee house. He just wanted his hikari to open his eyes.

Bakura growled and felt the tears well up. He savagely pushed them down, wiping his face with his hand, then raised the iced tea bottle he'd taken from Oni, unscrewed the cap, and took a long, greedy gulp. He chugged what little was left in there. It might not help much; Oni had already drunk most of it, but it was better than nothing. He'd had it in his hand all this time, and he'd forgotten, just as he'd forgotten the razor blade tucked into one of his pockets.

Ah, that would be it. He could join Ryou, or at least let out a little pain. His gaze flicked to his wrist, then he sneered in contempt. He was too strong willed to fall into that trap; he'd much rather slice the flesh of someone else than his own, in rage or despair.

Bakura snorted and kept on walking. He threw the empty plastic bottle, minus the cap which he'd carelessly let drop, at a garbage can tucked into a corner. It bounced off and landed on the floor, but the silver haired yami paid no heed and kept going.

Then, since the world conspired against him and lady luck hated him with avengence, he ran into none other than Oni. She hadn't gone home; she was lingering outside the doorway to Merik's room. Her face was screwed up in an attempt at anger, at a distancing emotion, as she listened to Malik crying. She looked much like Bakura did, like she didn't know what to do with the emotions plaguing her, and wanted something safe, familiar. Like anger.

Sneering, Bakura hesitated, tempting to turn around, but then he caught sight of Malik. Merik lay on a hospital bed, either asleep or unconscious, but the Ishtar's hikari had lowered the bed railing and had his head buried in Merik's chest, hands tightly gripping the scratchy white sheet. His sleeves were pushed up; his forearms were heavily bandaged, like Merik's. Oni grimaced with each of the hikari's sobs before she shook her head and walked off without even noticing Bakura. That wasn't saying much, as he heard her trip over something soon as she was further down the hall, heard her loud cursing, then several uptight nurses' voices, then Oni's released a bit of her pent up frustration on them.

Malik heard the loud threats and nasty curses, and his head shot up. "Oni?" He looked directly out the door, and Bakura felt his heart sink. He'd been spotted; there was no walking away now. "Bakura."

Bakura merely grunted, refusing to look into the lavender gaze, but Malik was already ignoring him. Bakura really could leave and get away with it. He took two steps, sighed heavily, swore, then came into the room, leaning against the door frame.

Malik was holding one of Merik's hands. It was remarkable how much the two of them looked alike; they could be identical twins, except Merik was a bit taller, his shoulders a little broader. Malik wasn't like Yugi, Ryou, or even Yami. He was no innocent angel; he, like his yami, like Bakura, had caused plenty of trouble in his time. Then again, Yami occasionally graced the detention room at school as well, but sweet little Yugi had turned him into a goodie two shoes.

"You stupid bastard. You fucking asshole. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you...." Malik's eyes were filling with angry tears again as he stared down at his yami's heavily bandaged appendage, then caught sight of the stark white bandages on his own caramel skin. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" His voice was hoarse and confused.

Malik looked up at Bakura, then looked back down at his and Merik's intertwined hands before putting his face in his one free hand. His shoulders shook, but he made no sounds, and no tears fell. Bakura leaned against the wall, wanting to be anywhere but here, yet he was unable to leave. They were silent, each lost unto themselves, when Malik raised his head, lavender eyes piercing through dark brown to stare into his soul. Though his stare was deep, showing Bakura his tortured soul, his voice was soft and trembling with fear and uncertainty. "Why?"

Bakura held his gaze for a heartbeat, then looked away, down at the tiles on the floor, and shrugged. The youngest Ishtar let out a dry, high pitched, half sob, half laugh. "I don't know, either." Then he laughed; not the joyous sound of one amused, but the rasping call of one on the verge of shattering into pieces.

Bakura didn't move, didn't think, didn't feel. He just stared at the gray, pink and blue speckled tiles while Malik laughed and fell to pieces.. Merik gave a sharp, sudden, indrawn breath, his body shuddered, but he didn't awake. The hiss of his breath stole Malik's laughter; he slumped forward, like a marionette with the strings cut, his head on Merik's chest and one fist tight on his hospital gown, and Bakura turned to slip into the hallway and out of the psycho show.

Malik's voice had returned to normal, though it was laden with sadness. "Isis is sending us away. To a place with doctors and crazy people." Bakura halted, but didn't turn around; he already knew Malik's head was lowered and his cheeks were wet. "Isis just wants us out of the way, so she can have a relationship with Kaiba."

When the youngest Ishtar said nothing more, Bakura took a step, but was halted again. "Tell Ryou I said goodbye. And that I'm sorry."

Bakura froze; he wanted to know what Malik was sorry for, but seriously doubted that the hikari was in any frame of mind to communicate clearly or coherently. Some of what he said may just be delusional ranting of a fractured mind. And yet, Bakura nodded his head, and left.

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yugi and ryou: big chibi eyes Review? Please?


	11. misunderstanding

Well, here we are, chapter 11. I'd never actually thought I'd make it this far with a fic! . And, well, I have nothing to say, no new notes to add or anything, so onto the thank yous!

Chicary: Yup yup, you've got Bakura pegged very well, my dear! And psychology is fun; it lets you mess around with our favorite bishies' heads! MWHAHAHA! .

Menacing Dwarf: I hope this story does surprise you; I've tried to put twists and turns in it so it isn't too predictable!

Inuyasha0001: Yesh, it is sad! Vieve le angst!

Black Charmgirl: I just love playing with the characters' heads! It's so much fun messing them up, expecially Yami; he's always so proud and strong in alot of fics, so it's really fun tearing him apart! O and death fics are always fun! ...and sad...

Renanimeangel: Yay, plushies and sweets! O

Hikari Ookami: Will Ryou live or die? I've already addressed this one a few chapters back in the author's notes, but I still like to play with the suspense!

Yugi is my one and only: Sorry to hear about your grandmother! When I was in highschool, one of my uncles died from a brain tumor. And thanks for the offer; if I do need help, I shall e-mail you, but so far I've got things under control. .

Kodainjin Hiei: I'm glad you're enjoying the story; here's another chapter for ya!

Cloud 1 3 5: I'm glad this is emotion-stirring! I try to make it very emotional (I actually got myself all depressed as I was writing this chapter lol!) I just hope I didn't make the characters OOC (or at least believeable lol...hehe...)

SnowIce: Things getting better? Now where would the fun be in that? .

Ramen II: Aww, don't hate Isis too much; Malik and Merik do need help. There isn't too much I can do to the Ishtars: they're already crazy enough as it is! .

Chibifan127: Well, here's another chapter, so some of your questions might be answered! .

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Yami was curled uncomfortably in a chair by the head of Ryou's bed, and Yugi was snuggled to his chest. The room was dim and quiet save for the hissing of Ryou's ventilator and the whirring and clicking of the other life support machines hooked to him. Yami was asleep, his arms loose around Yugi's little body, tears still trembling on his thick lashes.

Yugi blinked, not sleepy, but he didn't have the energy to move, either. He'd dosed off for a bit when Yami first moved them to the chair, but now, he couldn't do much of anything except stare vacantly at Ryou's sunken, empty face or at the silent wall. He was confused and sad, but his tears had run themselves dry. Yugi didn't understand, didn't like, Bakura at all. Bakura was trouble; he was bad news. And Ryou....he was dying before his very eyes. One of his best friends in the world lay dying before him. At any moment, Ryou's soul could slip from between his dry, cracked, partly open lips and leave a cold, stiff corpse, fresh food for the worms.

Already Yugi could see the body decomposing before his very eyes, see Ryou's name carved in stone crowning a fresh mound of dirt. The littlest Motou whimpered, one shaking hand coming up to cover his trembling lower lip. No, he couldn't think such thoughts; he wouldn't give up hope until Yami was dressing him all in black and they were watching as Ryou's casket was lowered into the ground.

Yugi whimpered again and closed his eyes, wishing he had the energy to shake head fiercely, to banish these morbid thoughts.

"Yugi?"

Yugi's head popped up at the soft, scratchy voice. "Ryou?"

& & &

Bakura stalked like a silent phantom throughout the sick smelling halls, head lowered and fists jammed into the pockets of his baggy jeans. He felt numb and detached. He should be a boiling pot of emotions over Ryou, over Malik and Merik. He should feel sad at least. But all he felt was nothing. He wasn't happy, he wasn't sad; he didn't even feel like vandalizing anything or knicking anything from the gift shop. He felt like an empty, black void, lost in the nothingness inside himself. He was cold, colder than Kaiba could ever be. At least that spoiled brat had his withering disdain, but Bakura didn't even have his hatred any more.

He growled, fists clenching, one hand ruthlessly crushing the candy bar in his pocket, which had begun to melt from his body heat. He would have punched the wall, kicked it, maybe even smashed a picture like Oni had, but he couldn't muster the energy. Bakura snorted in disgust with himself, veered sharply to the left around a corner, then ended up in the corridor leading to Ryou's room. He was passing the nurse's station when he heard angry, whispered voices in a conversation that was meant to be private. Bakura wouldn't have cared, except someone mentioned Ryou's room number- and had his immediate attention. Most of the useful information Bakura had gleamed from life, he'd learned by eavesdropping, and this was no exception.

"Do you have any idea how much it will cost to correct these papers and legal statements? All because of your sloppy hand writing. The patient in room 313 A is a middle-aged female in a coma from head trauma; the patient in 813 A is a juvenile male with leukemia. You had just better hope that none of the families find out and press charges- or your first day here will be your last." The head nurse of the intensive care unit was scolding a fidgeting, flinching, new young nurse.

Bakura's knees almost gave way, and his head was spinning. He had to lean against the wall to keep from collapsing on the floor. Ryou wasn't in a coma, but then why had he been so still, so unresponsive? His hikari was heavily drugged, medication constantly being poured into him; he must have been in an exhausted, drug induced sleep. Bakura almost felt like laughing, the same insane laughter as Malik. A dry half sob, half laugh escaped his throat as the relief faded; Ryou may not have been in a coma, but he was still dying.

Before the yami could compose himself and become angry at the hospital staff for the mix up, before he could go berserk and take his emotional hurricane out on them, a soft, trembling voice called to him. " 'Kura? Jou's taking us home; he's done visiting with Shizuka; she's getting her eye operation tomorrow, and- and w-we're leaving..."

Yami was shaking a little, holding Yugi tightly and looking at the ground, Jou's arms wrapped around them both. The blonde haired boy was obviously scared of Bakura, but nonetheless held Yami and Yugi protectively.

Bakura's eyes narrowed and he began to growl. Yami flinched and pressed himself closer to Jou. Yugi shuddered, his arms wrapped tightly around Yami's neck as if he could wedge himself between Yami and Bakura, blocking Bakura out of their lives. Yugi wanted Ryou in his life, but not Ryou's violent, hostile tempered yami.

At Yami's flinch, Bakura's snarling ceased and his eyes widened. He remembered holding Yami like Jou was, feeling that soft, warm body in his own arms. Now, Yami was recoiling from his touch, curling into that damned mutt. Bakura's dark eyes narrowed again, directing a malevolent look of pure hatred at Jou, who gulped and backed away, but his arms tightened around Yami and Yugi, and he gave Bakura an afraid but defensive glare.

There was tension between all four of them, Yugi looking at the floor and clinging to Yami, keeping his back to Bakura, Yami frozen as if he was torn what to do, Jou afraid and on his guard, Bakura looking ready and willing to kill Jou with glee. No one said anything, save for Bakura starting to growl again. He cracked a knuckle, Jou took another step back, and Yami nuzzled Jou's shoulder with his cheek.

Then Jou, Yami and Yugi were gone, yet Bakura still stood there tense for several seconds, his growling slowly dying down like an offensive wolf's. He looked in the direction they had gone down the hall, snorted in disgust, turned sharply on his heel and headed for an opposite exit.

Bakura had almost reached the wide double doors that led to the outside world, which looked wet from the rain, huge, and lonely. He glanced once over his shoulder then headed past the long, unoccupied reception desk. A huge plastic pot with a big, waxy leafed, exotic plant had been shoved in a corner by the long row of heavy double glass and steel doors. As Bakura shoved one of the doors open, he heard a sob and his head jerked sharply; he caught a fleeting glimpse of Malik on his knees in Oni's arms, crying, his face buried in her neck, tears dripping down the skull decal on her hoodi, one hand fisted tightly in her copper hair, the other in black cloth. Her chin was atop his golden head; she looked thoroughly bewildered, as if she didn't know what she was doing or how she'd come to be there.

Only when Bakura was out in the pouring rain and seeing Yami's sad, tear-stained face staring at him from the foggy window of a bus, did he shudder and allow some of his tears to fall, hidden by the cold rain.

& & &

Yami stood shivering in the kitchen, a trembling and sniffing Yugi in his arms. They were both damp from the rain, though Yugi was coughing more than Yami was. Yami had held him tightly all the way home, rubbing Yugi's chilled flesh, trying to get some warmth back into his small limbs, ever since they'd gotten off the bus. Jou had walked them home, then had gone home himself, refusing to stay after telling Yami to get him and Yugi warmed up, then to take some Tylenol and cough syrup, then head to bed.

Right now Yami didn't know what to do. He was used to always being the strong one that everyone could depend on, always knowing what to do, when and how to do it, always there to look after Yugi. But now, he was so strung out, had his emotions pulled into so many directions, it was like a rubber band had snapped inside him and he could no longer hold himself together..

All he could do was hold Yugi and stare with watery crimson eyes at another note from Grandpa. Grandpa, too, was used to Yami always having everything under control. Though Yami was still a teenager himself, he was mature for his years, just as Yugi was young for his, so Grandpa unthinkingly gave Yami more responsibility than he should have. Normally, Yami could bear it; he'd taken care of Yugi for so long, he was used to it. But now, he needed help himself....

"Why? Grandpa, why can't you put us before the museum, for once? We...I....need you...." Yami whispered softly, tears falling down his cheeks and into Yugi's tousled, wet hair. Grandpa was at the museum, where he was a head coordinator. He'd been called in by Isis, a fellow head coordinator and Egyptologist, because she was having trouble with a new display and needed his help.

& & &

Sugoroku was surprised, and a bit upset, when Jouncouchi Katsuya called the office's private telephone line. He didn't know how Yugi's delinquent friend had gotten the number; most likely he'd nicked it one time when he'd been over visiting Yugi, but either way, the blonde teen had been very upset, angry even, when he'd given the elderly man an urgent call for him to return home.

Even as he sat in the back of the taxi heading towards home, he couldn't believe that Yami needed him. Yami was a very proud, independent boy, never needing help and not admitting it when he did. Yami had been so collected, so calm outwardly when Yugi had fallen down the stairs and injured his back. He'd been more reactive and in control of the situation than Sugoroku himself had been. Throughout Yugi's injury and recovery, Yami had been the steady, level headed one. Sugoroku never once had seen Yami cry, had no idea that Yami had been hiding his tears from him, from the world.

His disbelief was shattered when he came home to an unlocked door to find Yugi tucked in bed, Yami slumped on the floor at his side. Though they had changed into dry clothes, their skin was flushed and clammy, and their eyes were glassy, and they occasionally coughed. They were starting to get sick.

Sugoroku stared at his grandsons, then sighed and slumped against the doorframe. He was getting to old to care for the two of them, especially when one of them was an invalid. He had one year left at the museum before he retired, leaving the young Isis fully in charge of the Egyptian department, and he wanted to spend his last years in quiet, peace and solitude.

He'd already raised Yugi's mother by himself when his wife had walked out on him, then had raised Yugi since he was two and his mother, who had gotten pregnant her senior year of high school, had died of cancer, then Yami entered their lives, and now he had two half-grown children to raise. But Yami was strong and sure, able to take care not only of himself, but Yugi as well, leaving the elderly man to work his usual long days at the museum then pursue his own hobbies and interests afterwards. Sugoroku was used to providing the necessities for the hikari and his yami; paying the bills, putting food on the table, giving them each an allowance, etc. But now....as he looked at them, he realized he had been emotionally short changing them.

"...'Andpa?" Yugi's eyes were partially open, his eyelids feeling unusually heavy and his voice thick with mucus.

"Shh. I'm here. I've got you, both of you." He came over and touched Yami and Yugi on their heads, stroking their slightly damp hair. He would have bent down and gathered them in a hug, but the arthritis in his knees was painful, and made the joints especially stiff on damp, rainy days.

& & &

Jou had gone home to an empty house, called Yugi's grandfather, then hung up, sat staring at the TV for half an hour, bored, then got up, checked the empty fridge, and went back to Yugi's, this time smart enough to bring an umbrella.

He'd found Surgoroku trying to get Yugi undressed and into a tub of hot bathwater, but the arthritis in the old man's joints made moving and lifting a body even as light as Yugi's painful, so Grandpa happily let Jou take over. Jou, used to seeing Yami take care of Yugi, had no trouble undressing him.

When it came to undressing Yami, however, Jou was highly uncomfortable. Yami helped him a bit, but the boy was so listless, just staring numbly at nothing. He'd been quiet like that since Jou had fond him and Yugi in Ryou's hospital room. Yami had grown even more withdrawn since their run in with Bakura, and had been unresponsive on the bus ride and short walk home.

"Yami, come one." Jou tugged on the naked boy's arm, hauling him to his feet, surprised by how light he was. Yami stumbled and tripped, Jou catching him. Awkwardly, he pulled him to the tub, trying not to let their bodies touch too much or look at Yami more than he had too. Yami, for his part, seemed unaware of what was going on.

Once Yami was settled into the water, Jou went back for Yugi. He'd just picked him up when the phone rang, then Grandpa stuck his head into the bedroom just as Jou stood up with Yugi wrapped in a towel. "Hey, Jou, since you're here, would you mind watching Yugi –and Yami- while I run to the museum for a bit? Isis is having trouble again, we never finished getting that mess straightened out and I still have a few hours left on my shift; I left money for some pizza or whatever for you guys...."

Jou really wasn't listening until he heard the mention of pizza, so at once his growling stomach agreed, Grandpa was back to work again, and Jou was left to care for a half asleep, feverish Yugi and his spaced out, feverish Yami.

tbc....

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yes, yes, it's the hated, evil, tbc sign; could be worse; it could say "owari", which means end, and the story would be over; with tbc you at least know more's on the way! .

and...as always, review? pretty please?

(pokes yami )

yami: (big chibi eyes) please? review?


	12. apology

Yugi: Well, here we are, another chapter-

yami: Took her long enough

yugi: -.- Excuse me, but I'M doing the author's notes

yami: Oni too lazy to do it herself?

yugi: &beams& No, I'm just alot cuter than she is .

yami: ...aren't you going to thank the reviewers?

yugi: ...&shoots yami a dirty look& Yes, if a certain somebody will let me! &immediately sweetens and turns to reviewers&

Yugi: A huge, huge thank you to all of you who have reviewed, especially those of you who have stuck with this story since the beginning. It's been a long haul, and we're almost there, and Oni really appreciates it! . So thank you all very, very much! Domo Arigato! &bows

Yami: &strikes a cute yet sexy pose& As my hikari said, Domo Arigato! &blows each reviewer a kiss&

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The rotund man hit the wall of the small pub, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth and a few bloody teeth falling onto the wooden floor. Being a cowardly and not very bright man, he was the last of his group to take on the young man, having done so more through the rowdy prodding of the drunken on-lookers than any real desire to fight. He didn't hesitate to bully those weaker than him, but this guy radiated dark, otherworldly power like a flashing neon sign that read "DANGER". This stranger would tear you limb from limb and enjoy every moment of it; he was sadistic, brutal and highly efficient in his fighting.

Bakura licked the blood off of his knuckles then spat on one of the unconscious bodies. A good fight was just what he needed, and six on one wasn't too shabby. Not very challenging, either. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, aided by alcohol, and he was ready to take on an entire army single-handedly. A mindless slaughtering spree was what he really needed, but a fist fight in a grimy pub would have to do.

The pub's patrons looked at him in fearful silence, flinching away from the violence glittering in his dark chocolate eyes. Bakura smirked; they were rank with fear, and booze. The bartender was frozen in place; the silver haired yami caught the subtle shift of a hand, and knew the bald man had pressed the alarm button for the police yet again.

Bakura glanced around once more, grabbed a glass of whiskey off the counter, and stepped on a few of his unconscious victims as he went out into the night.

The stars twinkled merrily in the blue sky, but he ignored them. He was feeling much put back together, almost his bad old self. The world was almost returned to normal. Ryou was going to be perfectly fine; Bakura wouldn't allow him to die. Smirking cockily, sure that his willpower alone was enough to make his hikari better, Bakura nodded to himself as he took a swig of whiskey, almost grimacing at the bad taste.

Only one thing wouldn't let him get drunk as a skunk, go home and pass out, oblivious to the world. Thoughts of Yami still plagued him, driving him insane. He wanted nothing more than to forget about the oldest Motou boy. He wasn't sorry for hurting him; Bakura was never sorry! But...maybe he'd hit him just a little too hard...

Feeling uncomfortable, Bakura growled and chucked the glass bottle down an alley as he passed; there was the shattering of glass, an angry screech from a cat, and the clanging of a garbage can being knocked over.

& & &

Yami was laying on the couch, with Yugi on his stomach. Jou had fallen asleep on the chair, the eerie light from the TV flickering. The half eaten pizza lay open surrounded by greasy paper plates and empty pop cans. Yugi was partially asleep, warm and cozy in his yami's arms, but Yami was unable to fall asleep.

He was no longer listless, but sleep wouldn't come to him. He'd just lain on the couch, holding Yugi, cutting up his pizza for him, and occasionally taking a bite out of his own. Jou had tried to cheer them up, make them laugh by acting silly, but only Yugi had giggled for him. Yami had come to himself enough to take over caring for Yugi, but he was still not all there...

Yugi wiggled, trying to turn over. Yami had finally relented, taking that horrid back brace off him, and the petite hikari felt much more free. Seeing his aibou struggle, Yami rolled Yugi onto his stomach, and the boy propped himself up on his elbows to peer up at Yami's face.

"Yami, don't be sad. Please?" Yugi pouted cutely, kissing his Yami's chin, and the bigger boy smiled sadly down at him.

"I love you, angel." Yami ran his hand through Yugi's still damp, disheveled hair.

"Love you too." Yugi snuggled up to Yami, tucking his head under his chin. "Don't let him bother you; Bakura was just being Bakura..."

Yami stiffened. "I...he...I should have known better, but he...he was gentle; I just..." Yami bit his lower lip and felt tears burn his eyes. He hugged Yugi to him tightly, burying his face in his damp hair.

Yugi yawned but couldn't stretch because of Yami's arms. Jou let out a particularly loud snore that caused them both to jump, and Yugi giggled softly. His eyes went wide in surprise and he gasped as he felt a movement beneath their shared blanket. Yami paused, too, when he felt something curl against his pajama leg, and he looked incredulously at his hikari.

"Yugi, you..."

"Yami, I..."

Yugi's toes had curled. Yami hugged him tightly, raining kisses on his hikari's face, tears of joy and disbelief raining down his cheeks, as they did Yugi's. "Do it again!"

Yugi hadn't been aware of it happening, hadn't even been concentrating. He'd just been startled by Jou's snore; even with their cheering, the blonde didn't wake; then again, he was a heavy sleeper. Little Yugi closed his eyes, scrunching up his face, then squealed in delight when his toes moved again.

"Yami, I can do it! I can do it!" He laughed and Yami hugged him again, sitting up and settling Yugi into his lap, pulling the blanket off of them. Yugi scrunched up his face, and his toes wiggled again. He could easily and at will wiggle the toes of his right foot, but his left was a little harder. He still couldn't feel Yami's legs, or the blanket wrapped around them, but he could feel the movement.

Yami held his hikari tightly, tears of joy coursing down his cheeks as he watched those small toes curl and uncurl before they both finally became exhausted and fell asleep, Yami's head tilted back against the couch and Yugi cuddled to Yami's chest.

Yami jerked awake to a hard, demanding pounding on the door. He opened the door and stared blankly in shock at Bakura. They gazed at each other, Yami afraid Bakura was still mad at him, Bakura having no idea how to even begin to apologize. Wait a minute; this was Bakura we're talking about. He NEVER apologized. And yet...

"Kura?" Yami asked softly, tentatively after several moments of silence. Bakura only looked at him, still as a stone statue.

More awkward moments passed. "K-Kura...y-you hate me?" It was part statement, part question. Yami's head was lowered, hands clasped awkwardly together like Yugi often did.

Bakura could hear the tears in his voice, and his mind flashed to a similar scene, only it was Ryou in front of him, saying those very same words. That time, he'd turned away and Ryou'd fallen to his knees, face in his hands, each sob piercing the tough boy's heart.

"Yami, I'm-...You...I- mother fuck it..." Bakura grit his teeth, fists clenching. He couldn't do this; he didn't want to. He wanted to rise above all that, make himself stronger. He'd always stood alone, been able to fight for himself. He didn't need anyone, nor want anyone. Until he'd met Ryou, who was as delicate as a Ming vase, and who gave him memories that almost made him smile on rainy days. The tomb robber hadn't softened any; Bakura still had his edge, just, at the end of the day, the trouble maker warm arms to wrap around him. Then came Yami, and he had another person there.

Yami's knees buckled as tears coursed down his cheeks and Bakura's strong arms reached out and caught him, cradling his soft body to his rock hard chest. The smaller boy cuddled to him, weak in his arms.

Bakura was not a kind or caring person; he didn't have much of a heart. It had taken him over three thousand years to reach this point. Even in this day, he was well known to the local police and was a jail sentence waiting to happen. His last offence occurred not an hour ago, when he'd decided to go bar hopping and instigated brawls all over town before coming to Yami's.

Soon as he felt secure arms wrap around him, Yami tilted his head back to look wide eyed up at Bakura, tear drops glittering on his thick, damp lashed. "Kura..." He said softly, reaching up with a trembling hand to touch one of the taller boy's cheeks that was red and swollen, as if a bruise was forming.

Bakura scowled and lifted his head up and out of Yami's reach, not wanting the frail boy to know what mischief he'd been getting in to. Crimson eyes flashed with hurt and the teas quivering on his dark lashes fell. Bakura flicked them away with his thumb, pulled Yami in closer and tucked his head under his chin.

Without words, in unspoken communication, the wrongs between them were righted and Bakura became a bit more human. He hated being weak or caring, but it felt so right, Yami's soft body in his arms.

"Yahh-mm-ii," Jou drug out Yami's name as he yawned, clearly still half asleep. The door behind Yami was open and Jou tumbled into the hallway, rubbing one eye. Yami froze and pressed himself tighter to Bakura. Soon as Jou saw the two together, he was instantly alert, glaring fearfully. "Bakura. W-what are you doing here?"

Bakura snorted. "Shut up, you stupid mutt."

Jou colored. "Only Kaiba calls me that!"

Yami giggled, looking at his friend and supposed baby-sitter while leaning against Kura's broad chest. Bakura rolled his eyes at the blonde and would've grabbed the insolent dog by his throat, but he was holding Yami. Instead, he scooped Yami up into his arms. The boy was light; he weighed little more than Ryou.

Jou's jaw dropped and he spluttered, but a dark look and growl cowed him; Yami sent the blonde an apologetic smile.

"Where the fuck's the bedroom?" Yami smiled a little, enjoying the deep rumbling of Bakura's chest. The once-pharaoh gave the tomb robber directions to the living room instead where Bakura sat Yami down on the couch next to a sleeping Yugi, who had obviously been wiggling his toe and and had bunched the blanket up around his small feet.

Yami pulled his tiny hikari into his lap while Bakura towered over them, arms crossed. Yami looked up at him and smiled softly, silently inviting the taller boy to sit with them, but Bakura only scowled. Yami lowered his eyes and kissed Yugi's forehead. "Yugi can wiggle his toes. It think he might...maybe can re-learn...the doctor's wrong..." Hope shone in his eyes, but he trailed off, biting his soft lip nervously as if even voicing his wishes would jinx them.

Bakura looked away.

"Ryou seems..." Bakura snorted, but Yami still spoke, his trembling voice the only thing, besides Ryou, that could pierce Bakura's hard shell. "You should go see him; he loves you and you're his yami..." Yami held his own hikari tighter, tucking Yugi closer to his body.

Bakura's shoulders tensed and he considered leaving when the mutt came into the room. The yami decided to stay out of sheer spite. Gulping, Jou didn't even look at what are you doing here?"

Bakura snorted. "Shut up, you stupid mutt."

Jou colored. "Only Kaiba calls me that!"

Yami giggled, looking at his friend and supposed baby-sitter while leaning against Kura's broad chest. Bakura rolled his eyes at the blonde and would've grabbed the insolent dog by his throat, but he was holding Yami. Instead, he scooped Yami up into his arms. The boy was light; he weighed little more than Ryou.

Jou's jaw dropped and he spluttered, but a dark look and growl cowed him; Yami sent the blonde an apologetic smile.

"Where the fuck's the bedroom?" Yami smiled a little, enjoying the deep rumbling of Bakura's chest. The once-pharaoh gave the tomb robber directions to the living room instead where Bakura sat Yami down on the couch next to a sleeping Yugi, who had obviously been wiggling his toe and had bunched the blanket up around his small feet.

Yami pulled his tiny hikari into his lap while Bakura towered over them, arms crossed. Yami looked up at him and smiled softly, silently inviting the taller boy to sit with them, but Bakura only scowled. Yami lowered his eyes and kissed Yugi's forehead. "Yugi can wiggle his toes. It think he might...maybe can re-learn...the doctor's wrong..." Hope shone in his eyes, but he trailed off, biting his soft lip nervously as if even voicing his wishes would jinx them.

Bakura looked away.

"Ryou seems..." Bakura snorted, but Yami still spoke, his trembling voice the only thing, besides Ryou, that could pierce Bakura's hard shell. "You should go see him; he loves you and you're his yami..." Yami held his own hikari tighter, tucking Yugi closer to his body.

Bakura's shoulders tensed and he considered leaving when the mutt came into the room. The yami decided to stay out of sheer spite. Gulping, Jou didn't even look at the silver haired fiend, but stared stonily at the Motous. "Y-yami, you and Yugi really should go to bed; yer gramps'll be home soon. It's one a.m." And, with Yami's going to bed, a certain fiend would leave. Jou hoped.

Bakura smirked. "Yami's not going to bed." He waited until the color drained on the punk's face. "And I'm not leaving."

Before Bakura could carry on with his torture, to everyone's surprise, they heard the door opened and Grandpa's voice. "Jou, you can go home now. Isis and I got finished earlier than I expected-" He stopped dead, staring at the smirking Bakura and pale Jou.

"Yami Motou! You know better than to be up past your bedtime, and to have a friend over at this hour? And you, Jounouchi! You know better than to let him!" Grandpa's mustache twitched.

Yami looked down at Yugi, still asleep through all of this due to his medications; the pharaoh's lower lip trembled. "I..K-Kura-kun came over t-to help..." His voice was barely a whisper.

"Jou would need help doing what? Yugi's easy to care for, and you are underweight yourself, so he could carry you, too. He doesn't need this muscle bound-"

Bakura lost what little patience he had. With a growl, he shoved past Grandpa. "Fuck off, old man." With that, he was gone.

Yami was still looking down; Sugoroku looked shocked and appalled, and Jou looked from one to the other uneasily. He scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "Heh...guess I should be going, too...I..heh...yah can me me laters, Mr. Motou...C-ya, Yami...Give my love to Yugi.." Jou grabbed his things and dashed for the door, leaving Gramps and Yami to stare blankly at each other.

&&&

"Malik, why do you have to go away? You hardly ever came to visit me..." Ryou's voice was soft and non-accusing, but the youngest Ishtar still flinched with guilt in his chair.

"I'm sorry, Ryou. For everything. But, please, believe me, angel, I really did want to come." Malik lightly fingered the back of Ryou's hand, caressing the tape that held his IV needle in place.

"Why didn't you come?"

"Wasn't Bakura good to you?"

Ryou frowned, tears welling in his large, gentle chocolate eyes. "Kura's been to see me lots. He's here all the time. So has Yami, and Yugi. Only you never came."

Malik looked away, his heart tearing in half." I sent you flowers, and cards. I even got Merik to sign them also."

"I just wished you would've come. At least once." Ryou hiccupped, his voice catching as he looked at the tan boy with haunted eyes.

Malik closed his eyes, fighting off the sting of his own tears. "I'm here...now.."

"But you're leaving again."

Malik put his face in his hands, unable to look at the frail boy in the bed. "I don't want to, but Isis is making us-"

"Please, look at me, Malik. Malik?"

Malik shuddered and gave a dry sob, causing Ryou to worry more. His fellow hikari was acting oddly.

Malik didn't know how he could tell Ryou the truth. He hadn't come to see him because he'd been too worried about his yami killing himself, and Malik himself had also been slicing his own wrists, and the two of them had been waging war with Isis over the razors and blades in the house. And now, after Merik's latest suicidal stunt, Isis could no longer handle it; they were being sent to a mental institution. The irony wasn't lost on the Egyptian hikari that as sick Ryou fought for life, he, healthy Malik, fought for death.

"I-I'm going to Egypt, Ryou." He hated lying to the small hikari, but it was better than him knowing the truth. Ryou was going through enough as it was.

Ryou relaxed now that he could see Malik's face and felt like he was establishing a connection with him. Ever since he'd stepped into the room, Malik had been emotionally shut down, as if he was hiding something, or no longer wanted to be bothered with him...

"Malik..." Ryou whimpered, afraid of being slammed out of the other boy's heart. With a shaking hand, he reached for Malik's hand. The older boy smiled a little and enclosed the clammy pale one between both of his.

"I'll never leave you, not in the heart."

"I'm going to miss you. Promise you'll write from Egypt?" Tears trickled down Ryou's cheeks and Malik wiped them away with the end of his long sleeve. No matter how warm it was, the boy always had on sleeves to hide the scars and cuts on his arms.

"Malik?" Ryou turned his head slightly. "What was that?" The pale, sick hikari could feel extra padding on Malik's wrist as he caressed his cheek, as if he had on bandages. Malik bit his lip and looked away.

"Yes, Malik, tell little Ryou how you got cut. More than once, and by your own hand." Oni leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.

Ryou gasped, his eyes widening until they were the same size as Yugi's. Malik tensed, vowing to bash the girl's head off the wall.

"While you're at it, tell him about your lovely trip. since when was a reserved room in the psych ward exchanged for a flight to Egypt?"

Malik growled, but before he could do anything, a hand fisted in Oni's copper hair. She started to snarl, but then Bakura barked. "Leave them alone." He yanked her from the room and into the hall, out of sight.

The two hikaris sat in silence, Ryou looking helplessly at Malik, silently crying while the darker boy sat with his head bowed. Suddenly Malik pressed his lips to Ryou's wet, chalky white cheek. "I'm really, really sorry." He whispered, then fled from the room while the pail, frail boy whimpered his protest.

Bakura came back in with blood on his fist and sat in Malik's empty chair. Without hesitating, he took the small, quivering body of his hikari into his arms, letting Ryou cry on his broad shoulder while he ran a hand through once thick and fluffy locks. He frowned when several broke loose under his fingertips.

"Ryou, the doctors said your white blood cell count is up." But even that couldn't stop the terminally ill boy from crying.

&&&&&&&

tbc...

whew! & wipes sweat from her brow& Now, that was a loonng one, folks! I worked uberly hard on it, too! &beams cheesily&

yami: yeah, we're proud of you. not. -.-

.- your kindness kills me

yami &mutters& if only...

.- yeah, I love you too

yugi: On a happier note...Review...please? pretty, pretty please? With sprinkles, cherries, and a kiss from me? &huge chibi eyes&


	13. fear

well, here we are folks! Another update!

yami: woot -.-

your enthusiasm kills me -.-

yami: mutters if only, if only...

what was that, metal mouth?

yami self consciously covers his mouth, hiding his braces glares at oni

Eh...where was I? OH, yes...Another update, and, also, I do believe we're nearing the end of our tale. I'm glad, though because it's taken me uberly forever to finish this fic. I wanna get my fics finished, so I can start new ones! O

Ah, yes, a fair warning; this chapter 'tis a lil darker than the others, but that's cuz we've got a scene with our lovely egyptian psychos, Merik and Malik. . Now, onto the chapter! Angst Ahoy!

Malik chewed his lower lip and tightly gripped Merik's hand. The yami had healed enough by now to be released from the hospital and directly into the custody of the mental hospital. Malik looked out the window of the van, but the scenery was a blur. "I-I'm scared." He whispered softly.

Merik returned his fierce grip. "If they do anything to hurt you, I'll kill the fuckers." He glared at the two women in white uniforms up front. He shifted in his seat. He knew his hikari was afraid, but Malik also wanted to get better. He was terrified everytime he sliced open his own flesh; terrified because he couldn't stop. But Merik wasn't afraid; nothing scared him, not after all the things he'd been through. He was just a little...uncomfortable...with out his pocket knife on him. He wished for the familiar weight of the blade in his pocket. He always had at least one blade on him somewhere; he even knew how to smuggle them past metal detectors. They were handy things; useful for carving his own skin, letting him feel pain so he knew he was alive when he really felt dead inside, and for protection; no one could hurt him or his hikari as long as he had a blade. But now, without one...

Merik shuddered and Malik wrapped his arms around his arm, laying his head on his shoulder. "I miss Ryou...do you think Isis will be happy now that we're gone?"

Merik growled and clenched his fists. "That bitch will pay for this." He hissed. One of the women up front stopped her conversation and turned around to look at him. He glared at her. He had no plans on staying, on being 'rehabilitated'. It was his own fucking life, and it was his choice whether to take it or not!

Malik pressed tighter against him. He felt lost. He didn't know what it would be like, where they were going, didn't know what the doctors would do to them. They would probably put them on a bunch of medications that messed up their heads, make them go to see a shrink and attend group therapy where they shared their pain with complete strangers. Malik grimaced; he wanted no part of that. But, he didn't want to cut anymore, either. He couldn't stop himself; it was just too easy to ease his pain by slicing open his flesh, so satisfying to feel the stinging pain and watch the blood ooze out of his caramel skin. He didn't believe this place could help him do that, especially with Isis forcing him to.

Merik had been less that happy when the doctors informed him of Isis' decision. As their only living relative, and since she was over 18, they were in her care. His face had darkened, his mouth tightening. He'd only nodded at the doctors, his gaze going blank, going inward. Only Malik knew what was going on in his yami's head. Merik was darkly angry. Malik just didn't know when all hell would break loose. He'd seen that look before. So had Isis, when she had tried to take away Merik's violent video games, claiming that the high amounts of blood shed and very life like violence would only corrupt him further and give him bad ideas. Merik didn't need help coming up with those! Merik had silently glared at her while she packed away his play station 2 games. The house had been quiet for a day or two, then she had come home from the museum. In the shower, he'd added red dye to the shampoo, making it look like blood. He turned the hot water off on her, then the cold, scalding and freezing her. All the food in the fridge had been subjagated to red food dye, even the lettuce. The kitchen knives, which she'd hidden from him and her little brother, had been embedded in the wall and spattered with a red liquid, looking as if the wall had been stabbed to death. Needless to say, Merik had gotten his games back.

Malik nuzzled Merik's shoulder, pressing his cheek into the soft cloth of his green hoddy; he could feel his yami's shoulder bone and tense, corded muscles. Merik felt the pressure of his hikari leaning into him and looked down at the top of his golden hair, which was mussed up; they hadn't had the chance to even brush their hair before being put in the van. Isis hadn't even come to say good bye.

Malik's eyelashes were lowered but the older boy knew he was frightened. Malik hadn't been himself altely, eversince Merik had awoken in the hospital, his bandaged arms tied to the bed rails so he couldn't hurt himself. Malik had been crying on his chest.

Merik squeezed his fingers, wincing from the pain in tightening his forearm muscles, which he'd managed to slice open. Merik had cut himself nearly to the bone.

:"Do you think they'll drug us up? Put us in straight jackets? Lock us in padded cells?" Malik shuddered, burrowing as close as his seat belt would allow.

"That's what they do with psychos, isn't it?" Malik pressed against Merik at the bitterness in his voice. He rubbed his sleeve, prssing lightly on the thick bandages covering his self inflicted wounds.

"They hurt you and I'll slit their throats. I didn't let your father hurt you and I won't let them."

Malik's head shot up, violet eyes wide, looking worriedly at the women in white lab coats up front. "Sh!"

Merik laughed harshly. "That was in Egypt; they have no jurisdiction here. Besides, no on will ever find that bastard's body." The hikari shuddered at the dark satisfaction in Merik's voice. He knew his yami had enjoyed dismembering his father. The thing that scared malik was he had liked it, too. Maybe they both really did belong in straight jackets.

Yugi cuddled to Yami's chest, the blankets tucked snugly around them, Yami's arms holding him close. The little hikari scurnched up his pert nose, eyes closed in concentration as he tried to wiggle his toes, but he felt nothing, no movement. HIs head flopped onto Yami's chest, small hands curling into fists, pounding the mattress on either side of Yami.

Yami's dark, thick lashes fluttered as he felt the mattress- and Yugi-shaking. He rubbed the small one's back. "Little one, what's wrong?"

"I-I can't move m-my toes!" Yugi sobbed.

He moved Yugi higher so the little one could bury his face in Yami's shoulder while he kept rubbing the small back, feeling the fragile bones beneath Yugi's sleep shirt. "Sshh. It's alright. You've been doing that all morning; your muscles are weak. You've probably just tired them out."

"Y-You think s-so?" Yugi looked up at him hopefully, tears clinging to his lashes.

Yami nodded and kissed his angel on the nose. He rolled onto his side, holding Yugi to his chest. "Are you ready to get up yet?" Yugi yawned in response and burrowed closer to him. "We can't stay in bed all day; Jou and HOnda bought a new video game. We could see if they wanna bring it over."

"I want some pancakes." Yugi stretches his short arms, mussing up Yami's hair. Yami mock glared at him then tickled him; Yugi squirmed, laughing.

"I'm hungry, too. Lets go see if Grandpa will put chocolate chips in the batter."

"And some hot chocolate?"

"I think I can make us some of that."

"Bakura, will you find out where Malik went to? I want to write to him; I miss him already." Ryou looked down at his folded hands in his lap, staring at the IV needle lodged in his skin. he raised his chocolate brown eyes to stare imploringly at his yami, who was seated next to his hospital bed, arms folded with a grim expression on his face. "Please?"

Bakura snorted. "It's not like they told me where they were going. Who knows what fucked up shit they'll write? You're sick enough; the last thing you need is to make yourself sicker by worrying."

Ryou's lower lip trembled and he let his thick, shaggy bangs hide his eyes. "I'll worry even more if I don't know what's going on with them. They're our friends."

Bakura sighed and Ryou knew he was close to giving hin. "Please? Surely Oni knows where they went-"

"She was probably too drunk to remember."

"What about Isis? She's the one who sent them there in the first place. Or the hospital-"

Bakura grinned, a malicious gling coming into his eyes. He still had to pay the hospital staff back for accidentally switching Ryou's chart and causing everyone to think he'd slipped into a coma. "Fine, but if you start to relapse, that's the end of the letters."

Ryou smiled sweetly. "Thanks, Bakura. You're the best. My white cell blood count's been rising. I can actually sit up now, and the leukemia's been reducing; the cemos finally starting to work. I'm not gonna relapse."

Bakrua grunted. "You still tire too easily." He stood up and stretched, stiff from sitting for so long. "I"m gonna go have a talk with those fuck wits."

Bakura went to leave, one hand on the door knob, his hikari's soft voice halting him. " 'Kura? Why do you think they cut?"

The yami stiffened. He didn't wat to think of that; he had enough shit on his plate already. "Because they're insane fuckers." Without looking back, he left, narly slamming the door.

Ryou winced. "They're hurting. Malik...he's not the Malik I know. He's falling apart. And Merik must be, too. " He lay down, his tears falling into the flat pillow.

Bakura stalked through the halls, glaring at every nurse and doctor he crossed. He hated this place, wanted to tear it down, brick by brick. He didnt' pay attention to where he was walkign and ended up outside Merik's old room. Already, it had another patient in it.

He growed, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. He remembered one night, months ago, when he and Merik were drunk and stoned at a aparty. The caramel skinned boy hd rolled up his sleeve with skulls on it, showing his inner forearm which was a crosswork of clotted scratches. "I did that. That's me, on the inside."

"Bakura punched the wall. "FUCK IT! FUCK IT! FUCK IT!" He didn't want to remember that. He'd been trying to forget it, but it had been haunting him ever since he found out about the Ishtar boys' self mutilation. He had known bmonths ago, that night, when merik began cutting. But back then, he'd thought nothing of it; he just though Merik would get over it. They'd been out of their minds on drugs and alcohol. Bakura had kept silent, thinking it was nothing serious, just a stage his fellow yami was going through. Afterall, as the scars on his inner forearm showed, he'd been through a stage like that. Merik had never mentioned it again, Bakura never said anything, and Merik had ended up in the hospital, nearly dead, because of it. If Bakura had told Ryou, told Yami, then one of those two surely would've gone squealing to someone, and the Ishtars wouldn't be in the funny farm now.

"God damn it!" Bakura snarled, shoving off the wall and taring down the halls, kicking over a potted plant along the way, but the thud it the heavy pot gave wasn't satisfying.

TBC...

dun dun dun! Another chappie down! Yay!

Upcoming events: Bakura and Oni in a bar, drunk (no, no romance here, folks), Merik and Malik break out and run away to Bakura's, Yami and Yugi go visit Ryou and Bakura, Merik and possibly Oni go pay the doctors back (what they do is a surprise)

yami: you do realize you just gave away the plot?

>. damn...eh...review? please?

Ah, yes, before I forget, I can't thank you lovely reviewers individually anymore b/c of stupid new rule, but if u do log in when u review, I can reply- and, yes, I will reply.- so to those of you who don't have a login name, THANK YOU! and those of you who do log in, THANK YOU! I really do enjoy getting reviews! They help keep the creative juices flowing!


	14. shards, part one

Hey everybody, I'm baaack! I would've updated sooner, but I haven't had internet access in like three months because we switched providers and the new company kept sending us the wrong modem, then they tried to bill us for service we never got, and a whole bunch of other bull crap! &fumes&

Yami: still psycho as ever, I see

Oh, shut up, pharaoh no baka

Yami: Hey! YOU'RE the idiot!

Didn't I just tell you to shut your freakin' metal mouth? &thwaps yami&

Yami: &self consciously covers his braces& &mumbles& Jerk…

&glares&

Yami: O.O &hides&

&&&&&&&&

Chapter 14: Shards, Part 1

The sky was a brilliant light blue. The sun broke through the puffy, white clouds to warm the ground below. A sweet smelling breeze wafted through Domino, rustling leaves on trees and bushes.

Bakura cracked his neck and continued walking. He'd been careful to avoid the pubs since the time he went bar-hopping, starting fights in every bar he stopped in. He'd most likely be arrested for even stepping foot inside now. Then again, he didn't need alcohol now. Ryou's white blood cell count continued to rise, and the ill hikari had more energy than he had in months. He was actually able to get up and walk around his room a little. His morphine level had been lowered, and he didn't take quite as many naps as he used to. Yugi had been working hard; Yami's midget hikari could move his toes at will, though this tired him greatly.

The only thing not going well was that he hadn't heard from the Ishtar boys since they'd been taken away to the loony bin. He didn't even know which one they'd been to. The doctors wouldn't release it. He could bully them about Ryou's treatment, but since the Ishtar case didn't involve him directly, they couldn't release the information to him. Oni didn't know. And Isis was slippery as a fish. He'd called her, multiple times. Left threatening calls on her answering machine. E-mailed her. Called her house, the museum where she worked. Staked out her house. Gone through her mail, hoping to find a letter from one of the Ishtars. Nothing.

The only thing that upset Ryou, and therefore Bakura, was they had no clue what was going on with Merik and his hikari. Maybe they'd finally succeeded in killing themselves. No; that surely would be in the newspaper. Bakura scowled, hands fisting in his pockets. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but he was worried about them. It was as if they disappeared without a trace.

Glancing up, Bakura cracked his neck. A flash of leather boot and fishnet stalkings caught his eye. Oni was heading towards a bar, to no doubt get drunk. Bakura snorted, then narrowed his sinister, dark chocolate eyes. She had blood on one of her hands. She had on short sleeves; he couldn't see any wounds on her. Then whose blood was it? What had she done now?

Bakura broke into a run and snagged her wrist just as she was about to open a pub's rusted metal door. "What the fuck is this?" He snarled, holding up her blood stained hand.

Oni growled and jerked her hand back. "None of your damn business. Fuck off."

Bakura crossed his arms over his muscular chest. "Tell me now, you stupid bitch." She tried to push past him, but he shoved her hard. She stumbled backwards and almost fell, catching herself on a telephone pole.

Oni looked away, up at the clear sky. Her voice was low. "It's too late; it doesn't matter."

Bakura growled dangerously, lowering his voice in a threatening manner. "Tell me."

She snorted. "It's Isis' blood. I caught her by chance outside a hotel this morning." She gave a dry laugh. "Do you believe the cunt actually misses them so much she can't bear to be in the house?" Oni fished in the pocket of her black skirt, thrusting a crumpled paper ball into Bakura's surprised hand. "Read this, then tell me you wouldn't've given the bitch a bloody nose." With that, the red haired lunatic pushed past him and into the pub.

Bakura stared at it in shock for several minutes before carefully straightening the yellow paper out. There were drops of blood, and the graphite pencil was smudged from water droplets, presumably tears. It was a note from Malik.

_Oni,_

_The doctors won't tell me Kura's address, and I can't remember. I can't remember anything anymore. My head's so fuzzy; nothing's been making sense. I hate it here. I hate Isis. She wants us to get better. I do, too. But we're not. It's worse in here. The mess our heads up with these stupid meds, the shrinks don't listen to us, and we're all grouped together and numbered, like animals, like experiments. I hate it here. I'd rather be dead. I miss my razors. I miss my yami. They took Merik away to a different section. I want out of this place. I want to die. This girl in my therapy group, Brigid, gave me a toothbrush. She'd melted the end into a point with her lighter. It's not as good as a razor; I can't go as deep. But it's better than nothing. Hope you find me dead._

_Malik_

Bakura's hands trembled before curling into tight fists, the suicidal hikari's letter crumpling again. The blood drops on the paper had been from that maniac's arm! He growled at the cruel irony in that. The very place that was supposed to be STOPPING his cutting was actually CAUSING it!

And there was nothing Bakura could do to stop it. He didn't even know where they were…Snarling, wanting to bash the doctors' heads in, Bakura looked down at the paper. Oni HAD to have an address; she just HAD to, now that Malik had written to her. But what good would writing do if the Ishtars weren't allowed any contact with the outside world. He was powerless to save them. He'd been powerless to save Ryou. He couldn't battle the cancer, couldn't save his own sweet hikari's life.

Bakura's clenched his fists. He hated feeling helpless! He wanted to do something to make it right. Who did he have to kill to make things better? There was nobody. Bakura could only sit back and watch helplessly as his hikari suffered, as Malik and Merik let their lives and sanity bleed away. Bakura just wanted to make them better. He wanted to go stomp the enemy, rip their bleeding hearts out with his bare hands. Then he'd feel better, Ryou would heal and the Ishtar boys wouldn't cut their beautiful, bronze flesh anymore. But there was no physical enemy to attack.

Bakura sighed and looked up at the pub door. An entire bottle of vodka would be heaven right now. Praying this would be enough to bless him with oblivion, the silver haired yami went in.

Tbc….

&&&&&&&&

Damn, yesh, I know, 'tis uberly WAY too short, but I've been working on this and the general plot for the past few days- all this with work and lots of confusing studying of psycholinguistics (cross between psychology and linguistics; 'tis uberly confusing and confuzzling and leaves me very confounded) .

So, I'm very sorry my lovely readers, but 'tis the best I can do. Hey, at least I updated.

Yami: &mutters& yeah, after a millennia-

&thwaks& oh, shut up, pharaoh

Yami:&sniffs and rubs head & jerk

Eh…ignore the freak…um, reviews, please?


	15. faith

Well, this chappie is longer than the last one! And we really are nearing the end of this fic! About 4-5 chappies left folks! Enjoy the ride while ya can. .

Yami: About time we neared the end-

Oh, shuddup &thwaps&

Yami: &ducks and sticks out tongue& Missed me. Idiot.

Oh, why you! &takes off chasing Yami&

Yugi: Uh…&blinks& Um….yeah….&smiles shyly at everyone& Hi there….I'll thank the lovely, wonderful reviewers since the nut's a little …busy…at the moment….so, a HUGE thank you to Professor Spector- the plushies SO rock- and Faith Moon, and Fox and Thunderstorm. You guys rock!

Yugi: This chapter is dedicated to all you wonderful reviewers who do take the time to review! Oni really appreciates it! So this one goes out to you guys out there!

&&&&&&&

Ryou sat by his window, a fuzzy blue robe wrapped around him, his dreaded IV drip trailing behind him, sunlight glinting off the metal pole. It was beautiful outside; he could hear the birds singing and see them happily flying about. He wanted to go out so, so bad. He hadn't been outside in….he didn't know how long. Since he first was admitted to this awful place.

The hikari sighed, resting his forehead against the cold glass and shivering. He supposed he really couldn't complain. He finally had the energy once more to stand up and totter unsteadily about his room, but only for a few minutes at a time, and he was always tired after wards. And just last night, he almost ate all of his dinner, instead of the few bites he usually took. Bakura was so proud of him. So was Yami, and Yugi.

Ryou smiled softly as he remembered the look on his yami's face when he told him the news. Bakura never smiled; Ryou didn't think his yami was capable of smiling, but Bakura's dark chocolate eyes lightened and his lips twisted into a smirk, but not a menacing one. It was Bakura's attempt at a smile, and it brought joy to Ryou's gentle, soft heart.

Malik would've been proud of him, too. But Malik wasn't here. Ryou frowned. Bakura had promised to get him Malik's address; Ryou wanted very badly to talk to his friend. He wanted to be there for him, to try and help him. Even if all he could do was be a shoulder to cry on, or to just listen as Malik poured out his pain. It didn't matter; as long as Ryou was there for him. But Ryou didn't know where "there" was; Bakura said he couldn't find out. Ryou believed him; he knew his yami wouldn't lie about something like this to him.

Big, fat tears ran down Ryou's sickly, sunken cheeks. He sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Where ever he was, Ryou hoped his fellow hikari was well.

The tomb robber's hikari felt so detached from the world, like he wasn't a part of it anymore. People had to leave their lives to come and see him. Ryou wanted to be a part of life. He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be well. He wanted to be with his friends. All of them, including Malik.

He hiccupped and bit his soft lower lip to suppress a sob. Life was cruel and miserable, fate beyond unkind. But Ryou had always know this; it was one of the first lessons Bakura had taught him. He wanted to be healed, wanted to live again. He wanted Malik and his yami healed, too.

But he didn't even know where they were. There was nothing he could do. Even if he was well, he couldn't go visit them. Heck, he couldn't even write to them! He might never even see them again. They had disappeared, like ghosts. Like they were dead.

Ryou sobbed and his tears spattered down onto the windowsill. His frail shoulders shook as pain knifed through his heart so sharp it was physical. "Ma-lik." He cried, rocking back and forth. "Ku-ra. I w-want K-Kura. I want m-my yam-mi."

There was a fluttering of feathers. Tears streaming down tired, sunken cheeks, Ryou looked up. A little blue bird had just landed on a thin twig that was bobbing up and down. It twittered, its little head twitching from side to side. Ryou sniffed.

Faith.

That was all Ryou could do. It wasn't much, just an emotion, a dream. Yet it was amazing the power of something so small. Yugi had told him that. Keep hoping, keep believing. Faith may come to fruit, or it may not. Either way, just having it when you had nothing else left kept you strong. It was a rock to cling to.

How many people lost faith daily? Ryou had seen so many of them, just here in the hospital. They had that lost, defeated look in their eyes. Ryou knew Bakura would sneer at them and call them weak. They'd given up.

Ryou bit his bottom lip. He could give up and cry his eyes out. He could sink into despair, let his illness consume him and waste away to ashes. But he wasn't going to. He'd come this far; he was healing. Have faith.

Easy to say. Hard to do. But Ryou would do it. He'd believe that somehow, someday, someway, he'd see Malik again. And they'd both be well.

& & & &

"Come on, Yami, I wanna go see Ryou! We're gonna miss the bus!"

Yami finished tying his black and red Etnies sneakers and ran a hand through his soft, thick spiky hair. "Alright, aibou." Yugi was sitting next to him on the steps. Yami bent to pick Yugi up.

Yugi frowned, and Yami paused. "Yugi?"

"Well, it's just…Yami…" Yugi bit his lip and looked down at his own feet. The little hikari still couldn't feel or move his legs, but he could now move all of his toes-on both feet- at will. It was a start.

"Tenchi?" Yami tilted that sweet face up with a finger under Yugi's chin.

"Why…why don't you ever….I mean, I never use my wheelchair?" Yugi's voice was soft and hesitant. He knew how touchy Yami was about it, and Yugi didn't understand it.

Yami froze. His heart clenched in his chest. He hated that-that thing. To him, it meant his precious hikari would never walk again. It was a death sentence. It was a change Yami wasn't willing to acknowledge, didn't want to believe. Yugi didn't need that..that horrible, evil contraption. He was getting better; he already could move his toes. His back was healed; all the nasty bruises that had been on his spine, from when he'd fallen down the steps, were gone. The internal swelling was gone as well. Yugi's back was soft and smooth, no signs of damage. The nerves were healing as well; Yugi was gaining feeling back, evidenced by his toes. He no longer needed a back brace. He was healing. Soon, he would be back to normal.

"You're getting better, tenchi. You don't need that..that THING." Yami hissed.

Yugi continued to look down at his shoes and the carpet. "But… you always have to carry me everywhere. It's just…I mean…wouldn't it be easier for me to-"

"I don't care!" Yami swore vehemently.

Yugi made an odd noise, tears falling down his soft cheeks. "Yami! Please!" He reached out his short, thin arms to the older boy. Yugi hated to bring this up. It was a painful, sensitive subject for both of them. Yugi had already faced this dilemma in the hospital, when he'd first woken up. He knew he might not ever walk again, deep down inside. He'd lain awake many nights in Yami's arms, his mind going over and over it. It haunted his dreams. But he'd accepted it. It was something he had no control over; only time would tell. All he could do was have faith. Faith was the only thing that had kept him from cracking, like his poor yami had.

Emotionally, Yami had had a harder time of this than Yugi had. Yami's faith had been shattered. He'd been clinging to the idea that Yugi would get better. He wouldn't- couldn't- let himself think of any other possibility. Yami had a manic faith that was almost delusional. It had hurt Yugi deeply to see his yami distressed like this. That was why the little hikari never said anything. But Yami had to face reality sometime. Yugi couldn't' keep putting it off. "I might not be able to walk again. We've always known this. Yami, we…we can't hide from it anymore-"

"No! You're getting better!" Yami shook his head violently, tears streaming down his own cheeks. Yami's heart lurched in his chest. It felt as if some hand were wrapped around his heart and was squeezing it mercilessly. His little Yugi would be just fine. He'd get better- he was getting better! Yami didn't know why Yugi was talking like this. He didn't believe it; he didn't want to believe it! Yami's jumbled thoughts became muddled by the turbulent pain and fear thrashing him about.

Yugi looked down, tears falling into his lap as Yami cried besides him. He felt lost and helpless; he didn't know what to do. He had to get through to Yami! Violet eyes suddenly widening, his tears trickling now, little Yugi grasped the front of Yami's shirt. Yami looked at him, ready to take Yugi into his arms and comfort his little angel.

With a frustrated grunt of effort, Yugi pulled hard and swift, jerking his little body up and forwards. Immediately, his legs gave way and he crumpled into a startled Yami.

"Yugi!" Yami cried, arms wrapping securely around the boy's crippled body.

"Yami! Do you see? Now? Do you?" Tears spilled from Yugi's eyes as he gazed up at his shocked Yami.

Yami whimpered and shook his head, burying it in Yugi's fluffy, soft hair as harsh, loud, painful sobs wracked his body. "I-I…Yugi…please…"

Yugi laid his head on his Yami's shoulder as he was hugged tightly. "It'll be okay."

Yami shook his head, pulling back and looking down at his beloved hikari. "How? What if you-"

Yugi just looked up at him and shook his head. "Just have faith." He said softly.

Tbc…..

& & & & &&&&&&&

Review? Please? Pretty please?


	16. asylum

Yay! Here's another chapter! And I'm working on 17 as we speak! 17+blinks+ wow, when did this thing become so long+sighs+ It wasn't supposed to be this long…but…gah, my muses went rampant….and then life got in the way- life really suks, ya know….

Yami: At least yours does.

TT You're just full of sympathy

Yami: Since you're too busy sulking, I'll thank the lovely reviewers instead.

Yami: A HUGE shout out to Bakura's Loyal Servant, Faith Moon, Thunderstorm, Professor Specter, Fox Loves Shinigami, and chi no hana. You guys rox!

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Chapter 16: Asylum

The room was small, and dim. The light fixture was bare, and one light bulb constantly flickered in and out. It was a square room with plain gray walls. The only furniture was a small bed with a narrow mattress, a thin sheet, and pillow without a cover. There was no toilet or bathing facility- Malik had to be monitored for those. He had to be watched when he brushed his teeth. He did, after all, manage to slash himself with Brigid's toothbrush.

Malik lay on top of the thin, starchy white sheet. He was on his back, chewing on his short thumb nail. Both his wrists were heavily bandaged. Next to the door there was a huge, clear Plexiglas window. He was on suicide watch, and had round the clock observation.

Malik snorted and rolled onto his other side, away from the window. The nurses and doctors were a bunch of idiots. Instead of helping him get better, they were driving him to the brink of insanity. He'd already tried to take his own life! Well…it's not like it was the first time he'd ever done that….

But at least he was with his yami again. Malik shivered as a draft washed over him, and he pulled his hands into the gray sleeves of his ward-issued sweat shirt. He smiled softly. Merik was the only comforting thing Malik had, the rock he clung to. When they took Merik away from him, his world had shattered.

Insane and violent as Merik was, he'd always been there for Malik. The older boy was much more supportive than Isis had ever been. Merik actually cared and wasn't afraid to face his problems, unlike Isis who conveniently dumped them on whomever she could. Selfish witch.

Malik shuddered as he remembered when they took Merik away from him. Without anyone to comfort him, no secure arms to wrap around him, no words whispered in his ear, Malik had retreated into the darkest recesses of his mind. He wouldn't talk to anyone in group therapy. He threw up his pills. He was locked inside his head, reliving his past. The doctors tried to help him. They sedated him. But they couldn't reach him. And the only one who could was taken from him. His inner demons had driven him quite literally to a razor blade's edge. But he didn't have any razors. So he used a toothbrush, the end of which had been melted into a sharp point by a lighter.

He'd been found huddled in a shaking ball, blood running from his forearms, into his beautiful, golden hair and pretty, tan skin. The crimson liquid streaked his face, and his lilac eyes were wide with terror, his soul screaming in pain. He just wanted release, and death was the only option.

Malik gasped and jumped when he felt arms wrap around him. Their touch was familiar, and he relaxed against his yami's chest. Merik kissed the top of his head. "You're pale."

Malik managed a half smile, snuggling himself into Merik's bigger body. "Just thinking."

Merik, too was facing the wall. He was spooned up behind Malik, so the staff looking in couldn't see his lips move, or know what he was saying. "I've been thinking, too. I hate it here. I hate them. I want to kill them."

Malik gasped. "Merik!"

"Shhhh." Merik squeezed Malik tightly. "You know I would. I miss Bakura. He always understood me." Merik gave a sad, dark chuckle.

Malik winced. "Ryou understood, too."

"He never should've known about this. It's a pity he found out; he's not strong enough to deal with this. He's sick. He shouldn't have to."

Malik lowered his dark lashes and felt tears burn against his eyelids. "No! You don't think he's …d-dead…do you?"

Merik squeezed his hikari again, silently reassuring the slightly slimmer boy. "No. Bakura wouldn't let him."

Malik smiled softly and nuzzled his yami. "Do you think we'll ever get out of here?"

Merik grinned darkly. His voice was low and husky. "Yes. Infact, I have a plan." He chuckled sinisterly, and the low, throaty sound comforted Malik.

The dim light bulb flickered once more, then a nurse turned them off; it was time for lights out. The Ishtar boys were left alone in darkness to plan their escape.

TBC…

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Please review! Reviews are always greatly, uberly appreciated!


	17. unfinished

"Yugi, are you sure you don't want me to carry you?"

"Ya-ami!" Yugi sighed in exasperation as the bigger boy pushed his wheelchair down the hospital corridor. They were going to see Ryou, and this was the first time Yugi had been out in his wheelchair in a while. Yugi wasn't used to the stares people gave him, but he ignored them. Yami had visibly cringed, looking like he wanted to attack everyone for his aibou.

Yami was more upset about the wheelchair than Yugi was. But it was something they both had to get used to. Besides, it was only temporary. Right? Yugi wouldn't let himself think otherwise. He was doing good; he could actually move one of his big toes at will now. Soon, he was sure, it would be both his legs. He would walk again.

Since they had left the house, Yami constantly asked Yugi if he wanted to be carried instead. Each time, Yugi firmly refused. Now, he was at his wits end- he actually hoped Bakura was visiting his hikari, so Yugi could dump Yami off on Bakura. Let the once-pharaoh annoy the hell out of the tomb robber and give him some peace!

Yugi felt a twist of guilt. Yami just cared for him and wanted to help. But the repeating question was driving him insane! He loved his yami, he really did, but right now he could do with a little Yami-free time.

Yami stopped the wheelchair and moved to open Ryou's door. Before his fingers gripped the cold metal knob, it turned. "B-BAKURA!" Yami yelped in surprise. Their bodies were inches from each other.

Bakura said nothing. He merely blinked, shook his head, and brushed past Yami, on hand massaging his temple. Yami and Yugi watched him walk down the hall, staggering slightly as he went. Yugi looked at Yami and shrugged; he didn't know what was wrong with the other yami. Maybe Bakura was tired, or sick.

Yami snorted and narrowed his eyes. "Lush." He muttered as the bigger boy disappeared around the corner. He went back to Yugi and pushed him into the room. Soon, they hoped, Ryou would be coming home, too.

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NOTE: This was part of an old chapter I had rotting on my computer for ages, that I never got around to finishing. I just put it up here for those of you who enjoy reading the extra stuff. Maybe someday I'll have time to go back and finish this scene. I'll try!


	18. new day

Ugh…I had SO much more planned for this fic; Merik and Malik were originally going to escape from the mental hospital, Bakura and Merik were gonna wreak havoc at the hospital where Ryou's at, there was gonna be huge drama with Merik, Malik, and Isis, more drama with Bakura and Yami-basically, Bakura's drunk and Yami helps him out- but…it all fell flat.

And I'm terribly sorry. I really am. I feel horrible. This wasn't supposed to be a monsterly long fig; but the bunny grew and mutated on me…and I haven't touched it in so long. And I'm not the same writer I was when I started this- I just don't have the motivation or ideas for it that I once did.

But I can't stand not finishing a fic. It bugs me to no end. So here it is. Finally, the last chapter. Hopefully, it doesn't fall short of your expectations…although it did mine. This whole fid did, really. But I finished it.

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last chapter: A New Day

The sun shone bright in a clear blue sky. Birds twittered and hopped from branch to branch, hidden among the light green leaves. Ryou pulled Bakura's jacket tighter about him and tilted his head back, basking in the sweet breeze and warm sun. Ah, it felt good to be outside, in nature, in the world, instead of looking through it behind glass, in a hospital bed.

The air was so fresh and clean out here. He inhaled deeply, trying to draw in as much as he could. He felt…well…alive. The sun warmed his sickly, pale skin. Instead of its usual alabaster white, it still had the yellow tinge of the deathly ill, and those stuck in the hospital for prolonged periods of time.

His leukemia was officially in remission. He still had to go for chemotherapy once a week, and his hair was still falling out. Right now, he had on a blue head wrap that matched his blue sweater. But he was out. He was going home with Bakura.

Ryou turned his head in his wheelchair, gazing up at his yami. Bakura looked down at him and grunted, but his dark chocolate eyes were soft. Ryou smiled sweetly and Bakura snorted as he pushed him towards the red, beat up Fire Bird car.

"It's so..so nice out here." Ryou sighed happily.

"It's supposed to rain later." Bakura opened the door, then gently lifted Ryou up, placing him in, then folding the wheelchair up and placing it in the trunk. Although he was released, Ryou was still very weak and couldn't stand on his own for long periods of time.

"I like the rain. It helps plants grow. We need it. Besides, it'll eventually stop and the sun will shine again." Ryou settled into his seat as Bakura came back, put the seat belt on the rail hikari, shut the passenger side door, went around and got into the driver's.

Ryou looked over at Bakura and frowned. "Kura. Seatbelt."

Bakura snorted. "Still bossy as ever." But he put the seatbelt on anyway.

Ryou smiled at him. Bakura was trying very hard to be his usual distant, dangerous self. But he knew his yami was happy to have him home. Bakura just wouldn't show it and ruin his image. Even if it was just him and Ryou.

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"Kura, why are you in such a hurry? Shouldn't we get my bags and wheelchair from the car?"

Bakura spat on the cement, making Ryou cringe. He held his hikari in his arms, carrying him into the house. They stood on the porch, Bakura sliding the key into the lock. He was still worried at how light Ryou was. Ryou had never been very heavy, but he was light as a feather now. He was too thin. The hospital hadn't fed him well. But now he was home, and Bakura would make him eat. Even if he had to shove food down the pale boy's throat.

"Screw it, we'll get that crap later." Bakura grunted, pushing on the door. It swung open and he stepped inside.

"SURPRISE!" Jou, Isis, and Yami with Yugi in his arms, jumped out in the living room. Ryou squealed, shifting in Bakura's arms, the yami almost dropping him. His doe brown eyes widened, sparkling as he gazed around the room. A homemade sign that read 'Welcome Home Ryou' hung by the doorway, and a few balloons and colored paper chains were taped to the wall.

Happy tears welled in his eyes and ran down his cheeks. "Oh, you guys!" He clasped his hands to his chest as Bakura carried him over to the couch, setting him down gently.

Yami carried Yugi over, setting him down near Ryou. Yugi reached over, hugging his best friend tightly. "It's so good your out. We've missed you."

"I was always here." Ryou laid his chin atop Yugi's head.

"Yeah, but it's different. It's like…like…" Yugi trailed off, trying to find the right words.

"Like we're both well. Almost." Ryou's soft voice was tinged with sadness.

Yugi kissed his sunken cheek. "We're getting better. Oh, hey! Check this out!" The petite hikari leaned back, bracing his weight on his arms, scrunched his cherubic face up, and wiggled his toes.

Ryou stared, gasping. "Y-You can move your toes!" He beamed at Yugi and pulled the shorter hikari in for another hug.

Yugi smiled up at him. "See! We are getting better! You're out of the hospital, and I can move my toes!" His voice was so happy, as if these were big, important accomplishments. And for them, they were.

Several feet back, Yami watched them, sadness swimming in his crimson eyes. "It sounds like such a big deal for them…and I'm happy…but…" He trailed off, whispering softly to himself. "They'll never be whole again; things will never be the same…"

Bakura snorted; Yami flinched, looking down. Bakura glanced around, making sure no one was watching, then put a muscled arm around Yami's thin shoulders and pulled him in close. Yami snuggled into his side. "Things never stay the same. Life happens; for better or worse, things move forward."

Yami smiled up at him. "Thanks, Kura." Bakura grunted, and kissed Yami's forehead. Yami beamed, laying his head on Bakura's broad shoulder. "We're together. It's enough."

"Oi, we gonna cut the damn cake already or what?" Merik hollered from the kitchen.

Ryou blinked; he knew that voice, but he hadn't heard it in so long. He looked with wide eyes at his yami. "Is-is that-"

Yugi hugged him, squealing and cutting him off. "Oh, we got a surprise for you! We didn't wanna tell you- HEY MALIK!"

Ryou gasped, hardly daring to believe it. Malik? Here? But he thought the boy was in a mental hospital. "MALIK!" he called out, breathing harsh. His heart thundered in his chest.

They were answered by the flushing of the toilet, a door slamming, then Malik appeared, grinning cockily. "Yo!" He sauntered over, plucking Yugi up and plopping down on the couch with him in his lap.

"Hey!" Yugi squirmed, not expecting that.

Malik just grinned and ruffled his hair. "You were sitting on the comfy cushion. The other one has a spring that digs into my butt." Yugi crossed his arms and pouted cutely, then sighed, shrugged and grinned. There was nothing he could do about it, and besides, Ryou was out of the hospital. Nothing else mattered.

Yami leaned into Bakura, smiling as he watched the three hikaris. Bakura looked around, trying to remain detatched, but the corners of his mouth twitched; he was grinning. As he heard Merik yell, though, something clicked in his mind. Kitchen. Merik. Knives. BAD combination. Dark eyes widening, Bakura took off.

Yami frowned as Bakura took off. He looked around, not wanting to be by himself. He looked at the kitchen, frowned again, then went and sat by Malik. Yugi held his arms out and Yami took his hikari into his arms. Yugi settled happily onto Yami's lap, and Yami kissed the tip of his nose. Yugi giggled, "Yami, you're silly."

"I'm allowed to be. You're my precious little angel." He kissed each of Yugi's cheeks, then Yugi grinned, reached up, and tugged on one of his bangs. "Hey!" Yami cried, and Yugi stuck his tongue out. Yami pouted, and Yugi pulled himself up and kissed Yami's cheek. Yami smiled.

Lap now free, Malik turned to Ryou. "Surprise." He smiled.

Ryou's soft lips moved, but no sound came out. He stared at Malik, hardly daring to believe this. He was dreaming, right? Or was he hallucinating? Was he still in the hospital, and they'd just given him more powerful drugs? Ones with psychiatric effects?

Malik took hold of Ryou's pale, thin hands in his one golden ones. One of his sleeves was ridden up, exposing a mass of thin scars. He looked down and winced. Gently, he shook Ryou's hands. "Hey, Ryou." The blank look wouldn't leave the boy's face. Malik frowned, then blew in Ryou's face. The pale hikari shook his head and blinked.

"B-but..y-you…" He stuttered, his face completely lost and confused.

Malik just grinned. "We got out a couple months ago for good behavior. Still have meetings with the psychiatrist twice a week, and Merik's medicated as hell, but we're here." His lips twisted. "Scars and all."

Ryou frowned at the dark humor. It wasn't funny at all- his best friend had nearly died, and Malik could sit here and joke about it!

"Hey." Malik said softly, shaking Ryou's hands again. "I was just joking." Ryou glowered at him. Malik released his hands, and pushed a bony shoulder. The glare didn't lessen. Malik did it again, poking him in the ribs. Ryou's lips twitched, then he broke out in giggles, squirming.

Bakura came back out of the kitchen, Merik in tow. The blonde yami was smiling but his eyes were glazed, like he wasn't fully there. And he wasn't; all the pills the doctors at the mental hospital had him on kept his mind in a fog-ridden daze. It was the only way to stop his morbid comments and thoughts. Before medication, even at the hospital and in a bare isolation cell, he'd tried suicide. The blonde yami was hell-bent on shedding blood, be it others or his own. Therapy had no effect. But a heavy dose of medication did. It bogged his mind down enough that he could be released, as long as he was kept under close supervision, which happened to be Malik.

Malik never was as self-destructive as his yami, and he had gotten better. Mostly. He still had his moments, but he had no desire to end his life. Maybe that was because he actually opened himself up and talked with the doctors. Or maybe he just wasn't as ill as Merik. Either way, aside from his dark humor, he was alright and not on drugs.

Merik had pushed his sleeves up, revealing the thin, criss-crossing scars on his arms. He glared at Bakura. "Okay, you're home with your hikari. Now, cake."

Bakura snorted, and Yami smiled softly. Things were getting back to normal. Or as normal as it could be. Yami sat down in a chair, Yugi snuggling into his lap with Yami's arms around him. Merik followed Bakura, who flopped down on the vacant cushion on the couch, then winced as a spring dug into his butt. There was no more room for Merik, but the yami just plopped down between Bakura and his own hikari.

"Hey! Watch it, jackass!" Malik glared, getting squished into Ryou. Not liking it, he grabbed Ryou and pulled the boy into his lap. Ryou gasped at the unexpected relocation, but then settled happily against the blonde hikari, laying his head on Malik's shoulder.

"Aww, aint' this cozy?" Bakura said with a sneer. Merik snickered, Yugi giggled, and the three hikaris sent him glares. Bakura just smirked.

"Oh, you're happy and you know it. So shut up already." Yami smiled, sticking his tongue out at the murderous glare Bakura sent his way. Bakura glared, then looked around the room. Really looked. Yami was smiling; Yugi was flexing his toes. Ryou was home. So were Malik and Merik. Their tan arms were scarred, not bleeding. They hadn't cut in a long time. He laid his head back, eyes closed.

They were all together again. Life wasn't grand and sweet; there was no happily ever after, no fairy tale ending. This was life, and right now it was okay. There would be times ahead when things weren't okay, but things would be okay again soon enough.

OWARI

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Wow. &blinks& I've been waiting for years, and years, to write that. Owari. It's done. Over. Finished. Finally. &stares into space for several minutes&

The journey was long. Ridiculously so. And for that, I apologize. But, see, I DO finish my fics. Feels good. I'd say I want this to continue, that I'm gonna miss writing it, but I'm glad it's over. I enjoyed the trip while it lasted, I really did. But it's over, and now I can work on some other stories.

And, on a parting note, I really want to thank you dear reviewers (and readers) who stuck with this. Especially those of you who've been there from the beginning. It's been a long time, and I thank you for your patience with me, and for not loosing faith (even when I myself lost it…). See! Miracles can happen! But, yes, thank you and I hope to see you again some other story!


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